Paddling furiously into the New Year

I've decided to start my new year with something new and exciting. Something I've never tried before, but have wanted to. So on Jan 1, 2006, I'm gonna go white water rafting with some friends from TJJ. I've never given in to the lure of this sport as I had another water sport on my mind always - diving - thus, white water rafting was never an option for me. Anyway, now that it's monsoon season, I can't dive unless I go overseas and that my friends is not possible. No kaching la.

It's gonna be fun. Gonna be camping overnight next to the river as well.

Will be posting pictures up here later. So watch this space.

Ho ho holiday...

I know I'm not blogging much these days... could be that I'm bored of it already or I now do not feel the need to bludgeon internet readers with my thoughts. Or it could be because I'm just too plain busy, and by the time I clock out, I'm in a too much of a vegetative state to spout sense. But for I will try again for old time's sake.

My Christmas holiday was one orgy after another. It was eating, eating, eating and drinking, drinking, drinking all the way. My Friday started with an invitation from colleagues to hang and get slosh at The Loft, Zouk, but I didn't like The Loft coz they play head-banging music and the place is populated by college kids and underpaid yuppies who can't "afford" to pay cover charge but drinks like a fish. It's all about priorities. The Loft usually play OK music right until the hands of time hit the witching hour and that's when all hell break loose with patrons already drunk and jumping energetically, jostling and stomping on the helpless beneath. Yeah, yours truly got stomped once and it was the last time I'll ever willingly set foot in that place... But then they do have cheap drinks... Tsk tsk, look how willing I am to trade alcohol for my feet. Haha. No I'm not an alcoholic. Go ahead roll yer eye... balls.

Long story short, ended up in Cynna with Aqmal, Zona and Zona's new best friend Nazrul, a chap who apparently knows the whole world, the way I hear Zona say it. Haha. We cracked a Smirnoff Berry and finished it in one sitting. And the funny thing was that, I didn't feel woozy at all after downing so much vodka... until much later.

It was just a night of hanging out with friends, old and new and talking crap, while the guys checked out the chicks. Cynna is one "classy" place. Patrons really dress up for a night of drunken falling all over each other, intentionally and non-intenti-HAH! yeah right, and a night of debauchery enough to put Mrs Elton and Britons to shame.

Anyway, LATER, we went to the "famous" mamak place with the "famous" nasi lemak for supper. It was my second time there and I still do not "taste" the attraction. Anyway, Aqmal didn't eat and he KNEW that vodka and sambal do not mix well, so he refrained from upsetting his system. Me, stoopid me, should have listened. Thought I had a some-sort of metal stomach la but after FOUR bites, I felt ready to burp and throw it all up. Ewwww! Gross! I gave my food to Naz and told myself not to THROW UP! All the way home, I held it in. When I got home, the first thing I did was drank loads of water AND THEN threw up. Eeyuch... Next morning, I woke up at 10am and went to the gym. ^_^

Saturday, cooked Christmas dinner with my mom. The children loved the dinner and the whole christmasy atmosphere as we don't really celebrate christmas. It was good food with good company and the wine helped loads. By the time the second batch of mash potatoes (my recipe), we were all well on our way to getting really merry on the wine and the honey mead. (Note to self: Go get some more mead for New Year's.)

Sunday, took a train in the morning to the ends of the earth for Zona's Christmas lunch, and hung out there until night when Zona, Nasrul and I went to see Wallace & Gromit at 1U. Funny show with lots of bad puns. If you want to know about the movie, google it. After that we went to The Orange to hang with Zona's uni friends to get sloshed. One way we tried to get slosh was to play the "I've never..." game which borders of a very well-rounded sex-ed if you're playing this the first time. The questions typically revolves around sex. The person of the moment will start with say, "I've never had a threesome" and those in the circle who has had threesomes had to take a sip of something alcoholic. And I didn't get sloshed. Enough said.

Monday, I woke up early to go to the gym and could not find my gym shoes! Decided then it was time to do some spring cleaning. Hence it was Clean-the-house Day and it was a good and productive day for me. I managed to get my shit cleaned and stored in its rightful place again and I can actually see the surface of my table for the first time in months. Installed a new shelf in the bedroom so that I can at least have my stuff in an orderly manner and not just scattered beside my bed. And I actually dismantle all the fans to cleaned it and then vacuumed the whole house, and finally gave all my cutesy toys and stuff a bath to scrub out the dust and balck stuff. They may look scruffy now but at least it's scruffy clean.

And now it's back to work... 'till next week! Planning something debauchery-like too. Hee hee.

Heineken greenspace FINALE

Heineken greenspace FINALE is next Wednesday! It's gonna be THE event of the year so don't miss it! We are booking all of Zouk except Velvet, so expect to experience the best with Deep Dish and DJ K-Switch! Come and enjoy people! Call me if you have any questions!



Heineken brings greenspace to Malaysia
Art, music and party come together for a one-of-a-kind experience

Young urban adults in Malaysia seeking more engaging experiences beyond just clubbing will be delighted to know about the upcoming Heineken greenspace. A nightlong event featuring three different themes - art, music and party - Heineken greenspace promises to be an experience that celebrates going beyond the norm.

Heineken greenspace will be held at Zouk KL on 14 December 2005. Featuring a number of international and local contributors in three separate spaces - Arttack, Musicuts and Dancevolution, each space aims to engage and expose consumers to fresh and enticing experiences. Doors open from 9 pm onwards and tickets are priced at RM35 before 11 pm, after which, prices are RM40 for ladies and RM45 for men.

Dancevolution at Zouk Mainroom
The highlight of Heineken greenspace is the 'party' theme, aptly named Dancevolution, which will be held at Zouk Mainroom. Featuring headlining act, the Grammy Award winning Deep Dish from the US and supported by DJ K-Switch who snatched top honours in Thirst Japan 2005, the Dancevolution arena will be transformed to mirror the Western and Eastern cultural elements of the countries that each act is from. More interestingly, this ambience will be created mainly using interactive and digital media designed by IF Interactive, a digital media agency, which has won many awards for their cutting-edge interactive solutions and designs.

As American leaders in the international dance music arena, Deep Dish have become one of the most revered names in the genre. Widely-regarded around the world for their explosive live DJ gigs, the Los Angeles Times has even once stated, "There may be no other live DJ act better than Deep Dish." The duo's current smash single "Flashdance" peaked this September on the U.K. music charts at #3 and made its U.S. premiere in June as the #1 top-selling dance track on Apple's iTunes.

Musicuts at the Loft
Simultaneously, the Loft at Zouk will play host to Musicuts - a space that takes music to greater heights. Musicuts will feature local acts DJ Bryan Burger, DJ RaySoo and Twilight Actiongirl.

Clubbers will be the first to enjoy a unique collaboration between DJ Bryan Burger and DJ RaySoo, a new music direction called "Hotel Scandalos", which aims to provide an intimate, alternative space within the clubbing environment. "Hotel Scandalos" would be the more experimental side of electronic music, ranging from quirky minimal house to off-centre electronica and even the odd disco gem and dub reggae record, a truly 'going beyond' experience.

Meanwhile, Twilight Actiongirl will open people's minds and ears to new and vintage classic tunes, which the general masses have overlooked with their broad music policy which covers everything from Britpop to garage rock to ska to classic soul to leftfield electro and all points in-between.

Musicuts goes one step further by combining audio and visual arts in collaboration with Clickproject, the local chapter of the Lomographic Society. The ambience in this space will be enhanced to reflect the essence of Heineken greenspace using the experimental and creative approach to photography that is inherent in lomography.

Arttack at Zouk Outdoor
Last but not least, Heineken greenspace will occupy the outdoor area of Zouk to create the Arttack space. Audiences looking for more sensory stimulating experiences beyond music will be thrilled with the graphically piquant graffiti wall created by local contributors Plastic & Co. In addition, they will also have the chance to exercise their creative muscles and try their hand at graffiti painting.

Completing the Heineken greenspace event experience will be the limited edition Heineken ito, a quirky yet chic aluminium beer bottle that is embellished with an avant-garde design. Inspired by Heineken and designed by Ora-ito, one of France's most progressive and unconventional product designers, the Heineken ito is the complete article - a beer that simply looks as good as it tastes and is destined to become a definite sensation with "fashionistas" and trend-setters.

This event is the culmination of Heineken's latest marketing campaign, which was unveiled early this month. Creative and thought provoking messages are displayed at locations frequented by young urbanites, including boutiques, cinemas, music stores, saloons and shopping malls all around town. Heineken brand ambassadors attired in T-shirts that carry similar stimulating copy are also placed in high-traffic areas frequented by our target group.

Work, work, work. *grin grin grin*

"U did a great job on nokia. Still on a learning curve but u have a never say die spirit. Dont lose that!"

My GM smsed me that last night. I was surprised that he noticed and even smsed me to let me know. I really appreciate superiors letting me know how I'm doing and I know myself enough that I will be working harder to do even better. Yeah, gimme a pat on the head and I'll try even harder. Just like a puppy. Pah...

Work has been crazy the past 3 weeks, what with Heineken and Nokia, both kicking off within 6 days of each other. On top of that, the Senior PR Consultant has moved on to another company Dec 1, and me being next senior in line, took over most of her stuff, and she has 8 years experience in the industry and I have 2! For the moment we are still looking for a replacement who is equal in, if not more, experience to PL. She hired me, you know. It's quite disconcerting to lose the person who hired you whilst you're still trying to find your footing in a new company. *sigh... shrug* Life goes on and so does work.

Well, my Nokia media launch has come and gone last Thursday and I'm told it was a great success, with the media giving us great feedback that it was THE best media launch they have ever been too. Wow... THE best... wow... The media had to RSVP and attendance was 100% plus as we had to turn away people who didn't RSVPed! What to do? We had limited seats and we really couldn't accomodate exrta media. *sigh* Wish we could though, hate turning away media, hope there won't be too much of a repercution... *eek*

What we basically did was create a special day for female writers from targeted publications in order to launch the new Nokia 6111 slide phone. It's really quite a feminine phone and it's slick and chic and small enought and fits well into a lady's palm and evening purse for that matter. It's a really nice phone and the audio is fantastic. We had the media launch at Nine, One Bangsar, and had silhouttes of women using the Nokia 6111 in cartoon cutouts and pasted onto the glass windows. Then we served them the cocktails and mocktails they pre-ordered a day earlier while they wait for the event to start.

We started with a musical with songs about women, relationships, career, love and men. Imported 3 very talented women to sing to a 3 piece band - flutist, pianist and drummer. After that, lunch was a fine dining affair with food prepared according to each writers and editors preference. We also asked them what their favourite flowers were and those said flowers were waiting for them on their seats in the dining area. We had sunflowers, lilies, roses, carnations, orchids and even a bunch of African daisies! We had 6 tables total with each of us hosting a table of writers and editors.

After lunch, came the chit-chat session where we asked the writers and editors certain topics. It was an interesting discussion followed by the SURPRISE! Nokia gave each writer and editor a new Nokia 6111 for their personal review! Talk about generous. Of course, all of them were happy! Not only that, we also arranged for a beauty / pampering session where our guests could get their nails done, a massage, make over with free make up, and a facial! We started the event at noon, and we wrapped up at 5pm! That was the longest media event I had ever done. Our guests didn't want to go back to the office! ^_^ A lot of them thanked me personally for inviting them, and they thanked Nokia for an event that all of them enjoyed. Said that for 5 hours, they didn't think about work! Hee hee...

Nokia loves the media and they are generous about it. Unlike some other companies whose name I cannot mention. That was the entire objective, to pamper the media and it's actually not about the phone. It wasn't IT related, it was just about what a woman wants...

All in the name of friendship

One of the best moments in my life was playing a malevolent shark on a tiny stage in front 200 people at a chinese wedding dinner. It was Tom and Shani's wedding at a Cheras restaurant that I personally think its name should not bear repeating. Anyway, it was a good night only because of the purpose that all of us congregated in that small restaurant - to celebrate with Tom his happy moment, his wedding to Shani.

To commemorate this happy moment, we the TJJians decided to do a skit of how Tom and Shani fell in love, and we did this in less than one week and with no practice, just a script and story guideline, and some very talented people who whipped up costumes and props for the rest of us.

The story line was simple: Tom was frolicking with his three monkey friends in the jungle one fine day. All that exertion was tiring and they soon became hungry. They wandered down to the beach in search of food and luck was with them when they accidentally stumbled on a turtle nest. Tom and his friends dug hungrily into the nest and just as one of them was about to gobble down a turtle egg, it hatched! The turtle opened its newly form eyes to the side of a dark cavern bearing down upon it and it screamed! It then begged the monkey not to eat him and instead he told them of a better food to gobble down. It told them of a beautiful sea creature living deep in the ocean that was absolutely an delight to the palate. Tom was intrigue and decided to go find this delicious creature. Tom then dived into the ocean and after a futile effort of asking directions from a school of fishes in class, he went on his own way. At last he found a cavern and he went in to rest. Lady Luck was indeed riding on his shoulders that day as the cavern he chose was the home of the beautiful sea creature that he has been searching for! Tom cast his eyes upon the lovely creature and immediately fell in love with her! The beautiful creature, never having cast her eyes upon a human, thought Tom was the most wonderful thing she has ever seen and she too fell in love with him. Hisdustani smut (read: dancing and singing around the tree scene) ensues and they give their hearts to each other. Suddenly, three sharks, on their own quest for a delicious meal, chance upon Tom and tried to eat him. They maliciously circle around him and took turns taking bites at him. Tom tried to fend them off but they were too dangerous. The beautiful sea creature was bored with this melodrama and decided to end it. She took out her machine gun and sprayed bullets into the sharks, killing them instantly. She saved Tom and they live happily ever after, The End.

Needless to say, we all had great fun making a fool of ourselves in front of Tom & Shani's family and friends! The best thing about this whole thing was that we didn't rehearse at all, we did this sort of impromptu. My costume was a cut-out cardboard shape of a shark fin, with the name "SHARK" printed in marker on it and tied around my waist with a strip of cardboard!

We did a remarkable job and we are glad that Tom and Shani was laughing the whole time. But then there were some who thought we were a bunch of escapees from Tanjung Rambutan from the the look on their faces. A bunch of adults monkeying around on the stage at a wedding dinner! Haha! And we had a tough act to follow: Our performance was scheduled after Tom's nieces' and nephews' little chicken dance, and we were not about to allow some young midgets to upstage us! Hee hee...

It was drinking time after that. Though it wasn't enough for Andy, Violet, Estella, Vijay, Rizal and me, we went to Ivy to continue the celebration. Yeah babe!

Road warrior milestone

Pixt from http://bonusweb.idnes.cz/obrazek

I'm in the office now. I drove myself here, alone, without my sister. I know it is a small thing for you but for me since this is the first time in KL, it's a bloody exciting thing for me. ^_^

Sis is in China and I got permission to use her car while she's gone. The only stipulation from her was that I was not to "ronda-ronda"! Haha. Of course I'm sticking to that. As much as I long to be BAD, I'm not and I'd rather not in this situation.

Hooray for me! *hugs hugs hugs all around*

My life is my work, how sad.

My world seems to revolve around my work these days. If it weren't for the fact that my sister and I work in the same area, and we drive to work together, I wouldn't get to see her at all for a week! I managed to meet up with a diving buddy for Happy Hours Friday night and it was good to catch up with him. However, the plan was to go party at Bar Ivy after but I actually had a headache and I felt drained! Lord, this is a first.

Working on this Heineken account is really time consuming. It's not that I don't enjoy my work, I do, even more so than when I was at VNM, it's just that I'm not used to not spending time with my family. Yesterday, I only had 3 hours to spend with my mom and my nephews at my other sister's place before I had to come in to work again.

When I got here, I discovered a real problem - the backdrop that Production mounted for me yesterday had huge bubbles marring the perfect poster! It must have been the humidity of it being left in the office overnight and then the downpour late afternoon. Called the production guy for help and all he said was "So? What do you expect me to do?" What the fuck? I was pissed off! It's his job and he didn't do it well and it's up to me to fix it? Anyway, what can I do but rant and fix the problem myself. So I did. I couldn't save the old poster and I didn't think that mounting one again will solve the bubbles problem. So I got a fresh poster and made a frame for it like a painting, with strips of mounting boards glued together for reinforcement. Then I glued the frame to the back of the poster. This way, I think it solves the problem of humidity and bubbles, enough that it will last and hold up for my prize presentation in two hours time from now. I came to work today and it was OK. My work was OK. No thanks to the production manager.

After the prize presentation at Bangkok Jazz, I have to head over to 1 Utama for the Nokia roadshow. Looks like it's another working day for me.

Ok, gotta go. Take care peeps!

Driving to work...

Driving to work today,

1. I saw my blind neighbour's pick-up of the week waiting patiently for him outside the house in this tiny Kancil with his legs on the opposite dashboard.
2. I remembered to put down the hand brake this time. @_@
3. There was roadkill being picked at by a flock of hungry crows.
4. I think the roadkill I saw was a puppy.
5. I noticed that cars were driving faster than usual
6. I noticed that the MyVi has a blinkers on its side-mirrors
7. I added that extra point to my list of MyVi vs. Iswara list
7. I kept thinking about my appointments today and my TO DO list
8. I decided that will call a reporter friend for teh tarik whilst I'm out
9. I had a horrible "tail-gator" who kept hounding me to drive faster but didn't want to overtake me
10. I set my speed to 70kmp but exceeded it to 90kmp but slowed down just to frustrate the hounder
11. I realised that I'm actually driving to work today!

^_^

Lydia's birthday party @ TSB

It was a good night of good company and good music for the very special occassion of Lydia's birthday. Lydia finally had time to send a pic over. From left: Estella, Lydia and me. September 2, 2005.

Haha... I'm a blue person through and through =)

Your Blog Should Be Blue

Your blog is a peaceful, calming force in the blogosphere. You tend to avoid conflict - you're more likely to share than rant. From your social causes to cute pet photos, your life is a (mostly) open book.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

A fun-filled green night minggling with the media

Jo, me & Sharon at the Heineken Greenspace Media Launch at Courtyard Garden. We all had to wear the Heineken tees... My tee says "Change your view 180 degrees" upside down. How's that for cool?



It's been a crazily busy month for me what with the Heineken Greenspace Media Launch last Thursday. But it was good busy and on Thursday out of the 40 media people we invited, 38 turned up. How's that for good PR? Nah, it was the lure of free beer too. Hee hee. Who can blame them? I would too, plus we had prepared good food that had unpronounceable names and guess who had to come up with those names? Yours truly. And I had to learn to pronounce my unpronouceable food names. It took me 6 hours on the net to check and verify the spelling and pronounciation of the food names that I'd come up with. Ahem I know a little french now. ^_^ Then I later double checked on the pronounciation with the Head of Creative who spoke French. Thank god, I only got 2 pronounciation slightly wrong.

Anyway, the event kicked off smoothly and the media went home happy, literally. Some of them were even singing on their way out. The last journo left about 11pm and the PR team, with the help of another colleague and intern, packed up. I consider this event a success not only because of the final attendance list but alsothe fact that I got the chance to mingle with the media, all in one place, instead of having to visit them one by one as I've been doing the past two weeks.

I'm so glad it's over and now we will have to concentrate on the next big event at the end of the year at Zouk. It's gonna be a majorly huge event with us booking the Main Room, The Loft and the parking lot to carry out the Big Heineken year end Bang. So be there people, this Dec 14 at Zouk!

Okie, now I have to go off and get ready for a wedding dinner in Seremban! My colleagues wedding.

A girl from Ipoh took me to The Girl From Ipoh play

At 15, she asks, "I go to a Malay school. I don't speak Chinese. Am I still Chinese?" Then she decides with zeal, "Maybe I shouldn't be a Chinese then!"

It was an enjoyable night when Estella, and a bunch of colleagues and I went to see the play The Girl from Ipoh at KLPAC. The play is directed by Low Ngai Yuen, and starring Carmen Soo, Lee Swee Keong, Season Chee, Tony Eusoff and LiT Performers, with Penny Low front lining as the Music director. Considering that we paid RM48 each, we got pretty good seats. I was seated on the third row from the front but to the side - it was not too shabby from Seadevilyn. ^_^

I'm impressed by the KLPAC. The looming letters of "HOME" with blue and green spotlights highlighting it against the dark night serves to welcome visitors into the premises, with promises of creativity in abundance. We were not disappointed. Before reaching the KLPAC, there's the Colonial Mansion and they have done well to cast lights onto this amazing buildings. Upon reaching the KLPAC, visitors are greeted with a huge green leafy manmade structure that begs the question: What is that building? Did they cast shadows in shapes of leaves onto the walls or are those painted on? Whatever the application, the effect was spectacular. The decor in the theatre was modern with very comfortable and plush seats. The only thing I didn't like was the walls - one side of it was covered with white blocks of all sizes, stuck onto the walls like handholds and footholds as though encouraging the audience to climb it should the play turn out to be horrible and unbearable.

The stage was set with a black and white theme, which I can only surmise represents the two warring sides of the heroine's personalities. She tends to sit on the white side when she's still innocent but after entering the KL side of her life, she tends to lean towards the black side. I'm not sure if my observations are correct or if that is the director's intent, I think that's a pretty clever and subtle way of reminding the audience that the western side of our adopted culture is blacker than we think, and that the white side is when we grow closer to our asian roots.

"The play explores an issue that plagues many-a-Malaysian - when is a Chinese person not Chinese enough? Does speaking English without sounding Chinese make them a traitor to their culture? Or does speaking 'mat-salleh' sounding Chinese make them an abomination to the race? Does liking everything Western mean a degradation of everything that is Asian?" ~ Kakiseno.com ~

Carmen Soo looked like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast in Tiffany's with her big eyes and hair coifed up with short thick fringe covering a head filled with ideals that is prevalent in all cultures, be in Asian or Western. But Wong Mei Lee wanted to be like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast in Tiffany's. One day a good looking man with non-chinese looks, and perfect English spoken in a deep voice, came to her father's HorFun shop to eat and she fell in love with him for all of two weeks. This good looking man was played by none other than the affable Tony Eusoff who showed that he really is a performer by transforming himself from a hunk into a geek in a matter of seconds, in accordance with Wong Mei Lee's daydreams of what her perfect man should be like. The audience laughed when Tony buttoned up and covered his manly chest only to put on a pair of geeky glasses and suspenders to play the foolish geek with some very hilarious moves that is a cross between the act of fornicating and 80's dancing. But later on, she finds out that her HorFun hunk was married and spoke flawless Mandarin to boot! Her dreams crumbled and she moved on.

She strove to separate herself from her grass roots, dismissing it as not being green enough for the likes of her. Carmen did a good job of portraying the innocent Wong Mei Lee from a little town (and us) who had forsaken her roots in order to attain what she thought was the perfect life - life in the big city, living together with her boyfriend and having money to fund her dreams. But all she got in the end was a bun in the oven with nary of the baker in sight. And in the end she went back to Ipoh, with her baby, to live under her father's roof again. Lee Swee Keong was very convincing as the hardworking, no-nonsense, strict chinese father who only wanted the best for his daughter. His portrayal of the Mei Lee's father echoes the hardship that all our fathers went through in order to make a better life for us. I didn't expect to see Lee Swee Keong without his dancing sleepers but I'm glad I did.

The LiT Performers were flawless in their portrayal as Wong Mei Lee's conscience by belting out and humming songs according to her moods. They were very much the highlight of the play as they performed fantastically by entertaining the audience with memorable numbers as well as some hilarious one. My favourite would have to be their rendition of the Pussycat Doll's "Doncha" into "Doncha wish your horfun was smooth like me, doncha wish your coffee was hot like me...!!!" They performed the number complete with sexy moves which was just gregarious somehow! And the effect was as desired. ^_^ The audience roared their approval.

After the performance, I went down to see Tony and congratulated him. I knew he saw me in the audience and when I went to congratulate him, he greeted me with a hug. I missed being hugged by a broad-shouldered man. Hee hee. Anyway, we chatted for a while, just catching up when a fan interrupted to ask for his autograph. The lady was at least 40+ and she loves Tony. *grin*

Congratulations to the people in The Girl from Ipoh on a play well-done.

Online Metamorphosis

It's a long holiday, 6 days to be exact, and I'm back in Kelantan for the Deeparaya break. We took the first flight out of KL and checking in at KLIA was an ordeal as there were lines forming all the way to the front entrance when we got there; and we thought we were early... Anyway, we got landed on Kelantan soil at 8.50am and my mom picked us up and took us for brekkie of Nasi Dagang at the riverside. It was goooood.

When we went home, the moment the car stopped, Patches got up and seemed alert. The moment I stepped out of the car, he ambled over and started sniffing me vigourously and rubbing his head against my legs. He knew it was me and he was happy. All the while I was unpacking inside the house, he sat outside with his nose pressed against the moquito-netting, peering inside, looking at me and waiting for me to go out and play with him. He is soooo adorable. Eventually, I finished what I was doing and poor thing, the first thing he got from me was a patting and a bath! I scrubbed him good and he loved it. The last time I was back, I noticed that he was very itchy all over. So this time I bought him a anti-itchy shampoo and conditioner. He hated the water but he put up with it as he got a very good all-over scrub. After he dried off, he was all frisky and animated, doing it butt-wriggle after a shake. =p

But I did notice that he has more lumps compared to a month ago. I fear for him. Dr. Leong said those are tumours and there's nothing I can do for him but just keep him happy. I plan to do so.

As you may have noticed, my blog has had a revamp. Yeap, all thanks to Midnite Lily. She took note of my lament one day of not being able to change the look and she did it for me, last night, all night. She's not midnite lily for nothing. Uh huh, she's nocturnal and that when she is at her most creative. Thanks girl! Love the new look, especially my whale shark & marine header! How wonderful is that header I ask you? Fantabulous! ^_^

I'm not just home for Patches. I'm also home to go through all my old things in preparation to bring some down to KL when we eventually move into a new house, maybe not the Puchong house though, but eventually lah... Lord, I have so many things! Mostly junk that I once thought were precious heirlooms. *roll eyes* I'm trying not to be a hoarder here. I have no space for junk. Threw so many things away today and I still have 4 more boxes to go. Most of my clothes I gave to Patches to sleep on (my dresses, t-shirts and shorts), my letters I read through one by one and kept only the meaningful onces, my little knick-knacks I kept some and threw some, found my precious stamp collection and coin collection again. Don't have much time left seeing that I'm leaving for KL on Sunday.

So many junk... *sigh*

My banner

Pictures from my Perhentian trip in September 2005

These are the divers from my recent perhentian trip in September. First row from the left is Kong, me, Andy, Violet & Gan, our instructor. The ones on the top from the left is Elvin & Tom.



This is Violet and me, accidentally wearing the same outfit and inevitable ended being called the Beer Girls. Hah. Violet's the hottie in the group. And she's super nice.

This next one is of me and my diving buddy Kong. Just one for the camera! Say "AOW!"

Look at the crystal clear water. Now who wouldn't want to dive into that divine experience?? I miss Perhentian already!!



Well, this picture... err... kodak moment for the guys' beer bellies. Guess which bump is which... ^_^

Sailing aft into the sunset?

I feel like I should blog something about my new job, as a marker in this new chapter of my life.

It's been 24 days since I started working at my new job at this PR firm in Midvalley. The first week was slow; not the scenario I was expecting: Me, sailing in the big ocean and suddenly my shipmates throw me overboard and yells "Sink or Swim!" So, for the first week, I strolled around the deck, familiarising myself and "tacking" when need be. Second week was just easing my toes into the water and the third week was a full body soaking! I thought I was making headway this week when my keel hit a sandbar. I was stuck! I was hoping that the Wind might provide some leeway for me to rock myself free but presently I'm still stuck. I hope the Wind blows tonight and the water level will rise and set me free to go where the Wind blows. =P

Just a little faux sailing sea salt there... hee hee

I think I'm doing okay and I seem content here. But we all know that it is still too early into the game to tell for sure.

Will keep you updated.

If you thought that I might have been a little cookoo when I wrote this, you're half right! @__@ I'm still at work.

Advancing into deeper waters

I am now a certified Advanced Open Water diver!!! Hoooowhhooo!

Just got back from Perhentian last weekend where I did my AOW with Bubbles Dive Centre and my weekend was wonderful. Not as orgasmic as my Redang trip of course, but still almost as good. *grin*

Late Thursday night, Tom came to pick me up at midnight and we went to pick up Gan and Kong and met Andy, Violet, Elvin & Pei Pei at the toll. We used the Gua Musang way and reached the jeti at 7am and took the Bubbles boat to Perhentian. By 9.30am, we were geared up for our first dive to Tokong Laut, the famous Temple of The Sea, a 30m rock column rising straight up from the bottom of the sea and breaching 1 meter above sea level. It is our Deep Dive, one of the prerequisite dive of the AOW course. The other dives we decided to take were the Night Dive, Wreck Dive, Peak Buoyancy Performance & Navigational Dive.

The Deep Dive
The Temple of the Sea is a 25 min boats ride from Bubbles. And when we backrolled into the slightly choppy water, we descended to 18 meters where the line stopped (the current was too strong to descend normally - we would've been swept away if we didn't) and continued deeper till the 28 meter mark. This is a Deep Dive, diving to a depth beyond 18 meters. It is deep and when you look up, the surface looks miles away. For a while there, my heart skipped a beat but then my attention got caught by the HUGE porcupine fish that was 1 meter long! It was just hovering lazily above a huge patch of soft corals, watching us watch it. =) We also saw a hawksbill turtle, loads of blue ring angelfish, a couple of scorpion fish, a juvenile puffer fish, a baby white-eye moral eel shyly peaking out from beneath a patch of staghorn corals, and a crazy titan trigger fish that was attacking everything in its sight, including us. My instructor acted fast and managed to avoid being bitten. There were also schools of black parrot fish, yellow tails and scores of other fishes that I can't identify. Looking upwards towards the surface, I saw that it was a long way up but then I started noticing more - the corals, the schools of fishes like silver flashes, the sea fans waving gently - the column was teeming with life - it was amazing. I understand now why they call it the Temple of The Sea and why my dad waxed lyrical about this dive site when I was young. I can imagine it must have been more spectacular back in the old days when my dad dived here countless times.

Introspection
Afterwards, Tom asked me how did I like the dive as he knew I had always wanted to dive there. All I could say and do was sigh and give him this dreamy look. He laughed. Since we were stoned from the night driving and all of looked like we were suffering nitrogen narcosis because of it, Gan our instructor decided to skipped the evening dive so that we could rest. I took this time to wander along the beach and soak up the pleasure of being on the island again. Honestly, I wished I had someone to share that amazing feeling with but since it was a couples trip and Tom being in training for his Divemastership and Kong being all reserved and stand-offish, I had no one to talk to; I was alone. I walked the length of the short beach and found an almost flat rock at the very tip of the beach where there were nothing but rocks and water. I laid down on the precipice and thought about where Life has brought me and being thankful for it. There was a shallow depression in the rock and a pool of clear water. I looked into it. I saw scenes of my life being replayed. One thing about being alone on a beautiful beach is that you tend to think about the people within your life and those without. It hurts but life goes on, so must I.

That night, after the debriefing and briefing for the building of the Peak Buoyancy Performance frame, Andy, Violet, Kong and I took to the beach for a little drinking session. Yeah, where would we be without alcohol... *wry smile* Anyway, Kong doesn't drink and pretty soon he wandered off. Tom came to join us later after he had finished his dive master-in-training duties.

Assembling our Cage
The next morning, despite going to bed at 3am, we all woke up on time as was geared up by 9am. After briefing everyone on how the frame is to be built and dolling out duties, Gan led the work force into the water. We floated to the site and descended. Well, everyone descended except Pei Pei, Andy and me as we were assigned to pass down materials to the divers below. We basically floated around, getting materials from the boatman, holding onto it until they were needed below. It was interesting just floating there but all three of us wished that we were down there helping them assemble the frame. Oh well. After 72 minutes, we finished assembling the frame and we all headed back to beach for lunch and R&R.

The Wreck Dive
After an hour plus rest time, it was time for the wreck dive at Sugar Wreck located 25 minutes from Bubbles Dive Centre. The sun was shining brightly and it promised to be a good dive. When we reached the site, the water was clear enough that we could see the bow of the wreck 5 metres down, booby-trapped with black spiky sea urchins peppering the deck. The wreck lies on its left side and the depth was max 18 metres. We roll-backed and waited for everyone to get into the water and descended gingerly onto the deck. We stopped a meter from the deck and with hand signals from Gan, we filed into pairs and floated after him. He was my dive buddy and let me tell you, while having your instructor as your dive buddy is a safe thing, it is also a scary thing when your buddy always takes the most scary route. *sigh* The wreck was covered every inch with razor sharp clams and mussels, and metal sides that are jagged with sharp rusty edges that can slice a person to ribbons. I had my reservations about going through tight spaces but I reined in my fear and followed him wherever he went. Around the wreck, in between the mast and the seabed littered with sea urchins, in between sinewy, silt covered ropes, into a shallow "cargo hold" and through a square 1.5 x 1.5 metre port hold / trap door and out, and in between slimy nets. The whole time, the song "I will follow you wherever you may go" phrase played ridiculously over and over in my head!

It was an "interesting" experience to say the least but it is one that I would not repeat. I confess I have a phobia about sea urchins piercing my skin. I once saw a sea urchin's spike in one of my dad's student's ankle. It pierced his ankle clean through his flipper and out the other side when he accidentally kicked it. And the pain etched on his face is one I will always remember. Maybe I'll do other wreck dives but one thing I will not be doing until I master my buoyancy is penetration. Which is how it should be as wrecks are actually a very dangerous place to dive and you have to respect the wreck and be a good diver in order to stay safe. One thing I do love about wreck diving is the abundance of life you get at wrecks. We saw 2 big lion fish, bonitos, a pair of a metre long barracuda, puffer fish, porcupine fish, a stingray, & scorpion fish. Since I was with Gan, we were in front when a black banded sea snake roughly a metre long swam up to the surface right in front of me. I was delighted! The thing was gorgeous as sun rays sparked against its silvery skin. I tapped Gan and pointed and he motioned a sea snake sign (obviously). We were down there for only 50mins and after doing our safety stop at 3 metres, we ascended. Everyone was happy actually coz they saw a lot of marine life. I was happy not to have seen the skeletal remains of some poor soul that is reputed to be a few metres off the base of the mast and I thank God that Gan didn't deem to show it to us. *shudder* As much as I love diving, I do not want to see that... yet.

Peak Buoyancy Performance
The next dive was to be our most fun - our Peak Buoyancy Performance dive. Initially, we were all scared that we might fail this test and we were quiet as we swam to the frame we set up this morning. All the divers and instructors joined us for this dive. As you can guess, the pressure to perform was mighty heavy on us all. The first test is to hover in the 2 metre x 2 metre cage and you cannot exceed the barriers of your cage. The second test is that you have to swim through a metre wide hoops set up along the cage and you aren't supposed to touch the sides. The instructors showed us how all is done and it was our turn. The water horn sounded and we controlled our intake and exhalation to control our buoyancy. It was actually ok but I was pretty scared that I would fail. Funny thing was that even though I was hovering within the top and bottom barrier, I was not hovering perfectly still. I actually drifted into my neighbour's cage! (Andy) and he gently pushed me back into my own when I bumped into him. =p How embarrassing. Anyway, we all passed. Next we did swam through the hoops one by one and we passed that as well with a few bumps here and there... hee hee.

Ronnie: The underwater referee.

Underwater Circus
After our turns, it was our instructors' turn and that was when the fun started! Those monkeys must have fishes in their last life as they zipped and floated around effortlessly. The funny pair was Pei Sze and Ronnie. All the instructors challenged each other to go through the hoops flawlessly and in the fastest time. Pei Sze did hers and got stuck! Straight away Ronnie blew the water horn and zipped in from the top and shoved a red card in front of her mask whilst he was floating head down. It was a damn funny sight and you can tell that both of them were laughing uproariously in their mouthpieces! Everyone was laughing in their mouth pieces! The rest of the divers were watching from the sideline (a line from the buoy served as a field-divider) and one by one they tried the hoops. l It was damn funny. Apparently all the non - students failed as everyone of them had one problem after the other going through the hoops! Coz they were just playing and having fun. They did stunts and even took out their BC and swam with it in front of them through the hoops as you would in tight caves. Gan took off his mask and tried to do it that way, but he couldn't judge the distance correctly and ended up not being able to go through the hoops! Ronnie again blew his water horn and shoved a red card right in his face, just in case he can't see it we found out later! The whole exercised was caught on film and when we played it back during debriefing, it was laughter non stop for the entire 30 minutes! Gan will be sending us copies of that dive soon on CD. Hee hee can't wait to show it to my family and friends!

The Night Dive
The next dive planned was the night dive. This was the dive that I felt really apprehensive about. I was worried about my buoyancy control that I might not be able to do it properly and something might happened. I brought my worries to Tom and he assured me. I had initially asked that he'd be my buddy but then Gan took that option right out of my hands by assigning Tom as the dive guide and my buddy was to be Kong. I have my own reservations about Kong as a diver and with me being all apprehensive, I was sure we were both a bad mix. Anyway, I swallowed my fear and bucked up. Each of us were given a torch light and with our buddies we swam out to the house reef. When we reached deep water, we descended into darkness and dived to a sandy area where we were required to turn off our lights and be in the darkness for 10 minutes. I had no problems with that. When our eyes adjusted to the change, we found that we could still see in the dark as there was moonlight above. Then to our delight, when we shook our hands in the water, tiny effervescent silvery blue things formed and swirled madly with our motions. We played like that for a while. Then we played "search and rescue" with Gan being lost and Kong and I being the search team. Haha. Kong couldn't find him but I did, as I switched off my light and looked around. Then I saw a faint glow and I took off after it and Kong and the rest of the group followed. After that, we went diving around the house reef and I found that my buoyancy control in the dark was no different or difficult than my normal daytime dives! I was truly delighted and my fear vanished just like that and I began to explore the reef. I was hovering above a patch of sand when I felt something rammed up against my leg. I thought it was another diver, but when I shined my beam downwards, I discovered a very disoriented HUGE puffer fish below me. Needless to say, I was very surprised and delighted too. Everyone soon gathered around it and the poor thing got more confused when more beams hit it. After a while, when it thought "enough of shining your light into m eyes" it swam off. The underwater world is very different after sundown and you can help but notice the little things, things that you'd not notice in a daytime dive. I like night diving. *GRIN* My fear was for naught.

Sleeping under the stars
That night, we tani again, what else. Code name: drinking session. Haha. Anyway, after that, we drag our sleeping bags onto the sand and slept under the stars. I didn't sleep much as Tom was next to me and he snored, loudly. It was peaceful after he stopped snoring and I watched the stars shift ever so slowly in the sky. I drifted off for a bit and when I next opened my eyes, there was a slight orange tinge on the horizon. I sat up and watch as the beginnings of a new dawn crept slowly across the dark sky and awaken all with its gentle rays. It was a beautiful morning. I went back to sleep after that, and when I woke the rest were gone except for Tom. It was 7.30am and I decided to get up and get ready for the morning dive at 8.30am. Tom slept on, as usual.

Thank god I'm not Schumacher =P
When I got back to my chalet which I shared with Violet and Andy, I discovered that both were asleep in there. So I knocked and woke them up. Andy got up to open the door for me. No sooner than he pulled opened the door, his drawstring pants dropped to the floor!Thank goodness he was wearing his boxers! I was stunned. He was stunned. He didn't react immediately. He just looked down at his pants and then looked at me and said, "It's not what you think..." I couldn't help it. I laughed out loud. Violet was laughing uncontrollably on the bed. I just said, "uh huh, sure..." and went into the bathroom to change into my swim suit. After that, I heard muffle laughter and tussling on the bed. They are such a cute couple, Andy and Violet. After that, Andy kept asking if I saw his "Red Ferrari"!!! LOL. No I didn't. I swear! *chuckles* We still tease Andy about this today and he still keep asking me if I saw his 'ferrari'... *grin*


The Navigational Dive
Our last dive was the Navigational Dive where we learned to navigate with a compass underwater and how to gauge the distance with our kick-cycles. This was a fun dive too. Kong and I were given instructions and then we were required to navigate away and back to the check point. It was fun as we took turns with the compass. One person will count his/her kick cycle and the other will navigate with the compass. We both pass the navigation with flying colours but didn't do that well with our kick-cycles, esp mine. Apparently my kick-cycle is very big, therefore taking us further off course. Sigh... we did it again and succeeded in staying within the error margin. =p It was a very short dive as we had to leave by 11am and it was already 10.15am. Scrambled to shower and packed... but then the boat was late, it arrived at noon. But we got the extra time to talk to the instructors and the other divers. It was good as it also gave us a chance to take group pictures and funny pictures. Still waiting for Kong to send them to us. Kong, where are the pictures??? Soon pls. Thanks.

The long drive back to civilisation
Gan didn't come back with us as he stayed on on the island. So it was just Tom, Kong and I in Tom's car and I got to sit in front and keep the driver awake. I thank the stars that I didn't have to sit at the back with Kong as he was having bowel problems. Now and then, we had to wind down the windows to let some fresh air in... *ahem* anyway, it was a long drive and I only slept a little when we got to Batu Caves. Tom drives very fast but he's not reckless. It's one of the reasons I always like to travel in his car. I reckon he's one of the safest drivers around. Plus his car has a good stereo, shock assorbtion and massage chairs! Kid you not. Talk about driving in comfort. Just the driver and passenger seats. Hee hee... On the way back, we talked about our childhood and I realised that his is not much different from mine. We both grew up with nature in our backyards and we both started to appreciate nature since young from our dads, who are both adventurous nature individuals.

We reached KL around 10pm and I reached home half and hour later. Gave me just enough time to unpack and drop tiredly into bed, with a smile on my face. Totally refreshed, totally relaxed for my new job tomorrow - advancing into deeper waters in more ways than one.

Only from a wonderful diving trip can my soul be enlightened...

Halcyon days

Just touched down in KLIA and decided to hang around for a while to surf and check my emails. I just spent the last 5 days in KB with my mom and Patches and with nary a worry in my mind! It was amazing. I've not felt such freedom for a long time. The last time I remember feeling such was when I was waiting to go to Perth, before I tore my back ligament washing my jeans.

Two of my cousins came back from the UK - one for a break, one back for good - and I managed to spend some time with them. My uncle invited me and mom over for chilli crabs (which he cooked) and wine and a 1993 Dom Perignon which he was saving for a special occassion. He popped it opened and toasted his daughters and me. It was a very nice dinner as the wine mellowed us and the 'discussion' went from quiet enjoyment of the crabs to crazy laughter.

Then the next night, my auntie and all of use made KaoJam (the name in Hokkien), this green rice with veggies and fish rice dish that is a favourite among Kelantanese. It has Budu in it and makes it absolutely scrumptious. Eating was fun, but preparing it wasn't as it is LOADS of hard work of just washing, cutting, pounding, shredding and cooking the whole thing. It's a mixture of different local veggies that resembles weeds growing by the side of the tali air than a local dish that has been around for ages. After you've mixed the 7 types of veggies in, strips of pineapple and cucumber and taugeh, you scoup in a liberal amount of Budu, which by the way is fermented fish; the liquid is brown and the smell is extremely pungent which is why airlines do not allow these babies on board. After that, you have to mix all this with your hands as it is the only way to eat and enjoy the dish, you also crumple in pieces of fish crackers to make the meal all the more gastronomic. I had two helpings of the KaoJam and some more crabs, roast beef, indian chicken curry and balanced it all out with a couple of glasses of reds and whites. It is indeed a good life.

The next day, I ran some errands - see dentist, visit doctor, got my glasses fixed and checked my eyes - then I went shopping. Heehee... I went shopping for silver earrings at the local silversmith. Almost went crazy in there. The silver is 92.5% silver and it's selling for less then RM20 per set! Plus I love the designs! I got a couple or more and there is one I really love, it's the shape of the Sireh Leaf and it dangles. It was orginally a stud earring, but I had them change it. The silversmith then fired up his blow torch and made it into a dangly earring, right there before my eyes! Very cool tool that blow torch... =P

So now I'm back in KL and I'm leaving for Perhentian tonight. I know, I know. Should have gone from KB but I didn't think about that when I booked my ticket and I didn't pack as required. All my things are in KL. Sheesh... talk about D-U-H!

Anyway, see ya peeps. Better go catch my Express train now and head home. I think I'll go paint my nails orange so that the fishes will be attracted to my winggling fingers and come nearer to me. Or maybe the trigger fish might mistake it for good food and chomp off a digit. Better not then... =P

A taste of total freedom

There has been a lot of interesting turns in my life the past 1 month and now do I only have the time to sit back and reflect on it all.

Throwing in my letter on 5 September 2005
On Merdeka Day, I got a phone call that allowed me to change my life's path: a job offer to work in an advertising company as a junior consultant in their PR division. Since it will be in a different industry but the same line of work, closer to my sister's workplace thus eliminating the non-transport factor, and the company being bigger and dynamic, I decided to take up their offer.

I was all ready to throw in my letter the very next day but my superior was on leave. In any case, I couldn't resign anyway as I still didn't have the offer letter in hand. My younger and more naive self would have done it without the offer letter, but the older me now decided not to be so foolish even though the urge to get out asap was strong. So I waited until Monday.

Came Monday, I sat both my superiors down and told them I was resigning and I slid the my letter over to them. One of them was not surprised as I had already told her last week of my intentions as I felt I owe it to her not to blind side her. The other, younger and cockier superior, I had no such considerations for. The look on her face was worth the wait. I know she bears no lost love for me and vice versa. Work is work like she always like to say and she mentioned several times of others who complained, that "if you don't like it here, then leave". I left and the look of surprise on her face was worth all the biting back of words that I had to do previously.

Yes, she's a good manager but only when it serves to advance her position. She's a nice person I suppose as all colleagues can be and as nothing is personal. True we all get short when we are stressed and I respect her because she's quite good in her work, but I do not respect her because she doesn't seem to have the decency to respect me as her colleague, support and junior. It's never about the workload. I can handle a huge workload as long as I feel I have support from my team but here I do not have that luxury. Here, I feel stabbed in the back by her and just disgusted when she shows such a faux front when she needs my help and only to find out later that she was stabbing me in the back with other managers and frankly, taking credit for my work. Case and point, the tagline for one of our new projects. I came up with the tagline "3 Girls, 2 Dilemmas, 1 Decision" but I hear from a colleague that she's telling everyone that she and I came up with it. All she did was ordered me to come up with a tagline and a 5 words line to describe the programme. She didn't come up with anything. All she did was choose and approve my work. I churned out pages of taglines for her to choose from, and that too she has to get approval from our project consultant. So I do not see how it is that she and I came up with it as she claimed. That's just taking credit for something you didn't do. But one thing I cannot deny is that I did learn from her, when compared to my previous Manager who I can honestly say was the crappiest manager I've ever met. At least with my last manager, she was willing to teach and for that I can honestly say she was a good manager and good colleague. The above, I just needed to say it to get off my chest as there were a lot of things she did that I do not agree with and one very recent one was asking me to hand over my contacts to her!!! I was like "What the fuck?!" As if I'm gonna give over my hard-earn contacts to anyone! Told her no but she sent me an email saying that since I got those contacts via my representation of VNM, threfore all info belonged to the company. She just wants the easy way out of everything. Well, this time I'm not complying. So I gave her the general numbers of all the papers without giving the direct contacts. Except maybe some that I know she can get. See? That already shows what kind of person she is. Give her my contacts?? Hah! This is one thing that she'll have to work for on her own and no more riding on my back. Sorry, I'm still fuming. I asked around and everyone's reaction was "tell her to go and die"... kid you not. I asked people in my industry, I asked my sister's friend who runs an events company and he laughed and then looked seriously at me asking, "You didn't give it to her, right??" Eeesh.


There's loads of reason why I left this company. It's a good company as it has a bright future, but it's future will be marred by people coming and going so frequently that the company will not grow when there is a lot of work stuck in between these comings' and goings' gaps.

There are loads of amazing and talented people in this company but the management do not see this. And even if they do, they seem helpless and uninterested to really do anything about it. They keep saying that want to improve things in the company and they do all sorts of useless activities to bring this about. But one thing they have overlooked is their own selves. Management has to change in order for the chain reaction to take place. Nothing will change if management remains the same, cut-off entity that only moves when prodded with a cattle prod. They should all send their managers to etiquette and moral classes. Maybe then they will know how to treat their staff better.

I hear that they want to bring in a manger to fill my post. Good luck to them and I say this with a smile and a finger. Yes the manager will probably do better than me but for them to pay me so little and with that tiny increment, it was an insult to my BA. And now with them hiring a manager, it's a slap. But though I do not thank the company personally for my growth, I thank them for giving me the chance to learn about life and the human character in the work place.

By the way, I initially thought of leaving at the end of the year when the new project finishes, but with the whole phone receptionist thing and a superior who is more concern about protecting her interests than helping me fight for my rights as a team member, I felt it was time for me to go and seek a lesser brownish pasture. Loyalty is a nerve-dead sentiment is today's work place. Work is work, nothing is personal...

I confess that I leave with a slightly heavy heart as I did enjoy my work there and despite all the crap above, we were a workable team that can be dynamic with the right push and attitude. I've made some really good friends here and I wish them all the best and the best that they can reap from their lives.

Diving with a whale shark
The highlight of my life at the moment is the experience of diving and touching a gentle giant, the whale shark.

I went to Redang for diving with TJJ 9 - 11 September 2005 (last weekend) and it was the best diving experience of my life. Since this is only my 2nd diving trip, I was still a little rusty in my buoyancy control. But after a couple of dives, under the watchful eyes of the Pelangi Redang Dive Centre's dive master, Teng JanShir, and with a few good tips and cautions from Tom, I managed to improve my buoyancy control and I'm all the better for it as it allowed me to dive so well on my 10th dive, THE dive with the whale shark.

We were suppose to descend and meet at the 18m mark but 8 meters down, we heard the alert (tank banging) from JanShir and we all automatically look at him. He signalled and pointed to the right of me. I turned and there, just barely a shadow, was a silhouette of something huge gliding towards us. Out of the black depth, it glided nearer and nearer, until we could clearly make out the distinctive yellow spots making the gentle giant. It was 23 feet, just a juvenile and a curious one at that. It lazily swam passed us and all of us were to stunned to do anything but gawked. In my mind, I breathed a "Ohhh miiigawd" but from my mouth came, "Holy Shit!" when my brain caught up with what my eyes were telling it what they were actually looking at.

We were actually geared up for a dive to Mak Chantik when the alert came in. We unanimously decided to take the chance to dive for the whale shark when the dive master asked us if we wanted to try looking for the whale shark. He kept reminding us that we might not see it and that it was a slim chance. Poseidon was surely favouring us that day when he allowed us to anchor our boat right above where the gentle giant was below. It was a miracle to be able to witness and dive in the presence of one of the most amazing creature on earth.

We dived for 50 mins with the whale shark as it kept circling back to check us out and to play with our bubbles. It was playful as it swam within a hairsbreadth of me a few times. I have this amazing snapshot in my head as it swam past me and I finned gentle along side it and them I went under its belly. Looking up, my breath caught at the sight - the whale shark was silhouetted against the sun and all I could see was the shape and bright sunlight above. It was truly a shot worthy of National Geographic. I'm glad one of the dive master managed to get just such a shot later on.

At first I was hesitant to touch it as I didn't want to frighten or harm it in any way, but after when it swam so near me so many times, my hand haltingly reached out and it glided past my fingertips. It felt like my wet suit. It was a curious feeling, a mixture of awe and sadness for I knew what a fight it is to keep these gentle giants alive. By right, we should not be touching it and letting it get use to our presence. His curiosity might be the death of him one day and that is what I fear the most.

Finally, we had to leave as we were running very low on air. Some of us had even reached the red limit. When we were getting out of the water, the giant juve was still gliding beneath our fins.

It was truly a great experience.

Not just the whale shark encounter but the whole dive trip to Redang. We had a good group and we could connect well. This trip was one of the best vacation I've had in a long time, and possible the best ever.


Immortalised on TV
After Redang, I came back and I was on TV. I smsed everyone in my phone book to watch out for my 10 seconds of fame. It was hilarious! I couldn't help but laugh every time I caught sight of myself on TV. There were so many smses coming in that added to my mirth! Thank you all for your support, I truly appreciate the fact that so many family and friends took time out and with amazing patience, waited for me to appear on TV even though it was only 10 seconds. Thank you all. =)


So that's my life at the moment. I will start work at my new job on Oct 3rd 05. Right after I come back from Perhentian for my Advance Open Water course. *grin* I should make use of my free time to take it up if I want to make it to sipadan soon.

Diving is divine.

I dived with a whale shark! AND I'm gonna be on TV tonight!

My life is soooo very exciting, for the moment!!!

I went to Redang last weekend and I saw and swam witha whale shark! See here for photos!

Also, I'll be on TV tonight, on ntv7 in a show called Looking Good, Feeling Good, at 10.40pm. Just look out for the lady in a black pants suit trying to look all pro and interviewing someone.

Looking Good, Feeling Good, 10.40pm, ntv7.

My new whale shark header, the one I dived with in Redang...

I'm not a FUCKING receptionist!

This is the letter I wrote to someone in the company. I've had it. If this person wants a fight, I'm gonna give them one.


Dear &%##@@&,

In regards to the matter of connecting my phone to the rest of CSD after office hours, I would like to voice some concerns. I am objecting after having my phone ring non-stop and non of the calls were for me. While I understand your side, I trust you can open up your mind to understand mine. Initially I didn't think it would be that bad, but now it is interrupting my work.

1. I wasn't inform beforhand about this. You didn't ask me if I would mind, you just did it. THEN only did you inform me. Neither did you inform any of my superiors beforehand.

2. Yes, I understand that someone should pick up the phone, but it is not in my job description to constantly answer and direct calls. I believe that is your department's job.

3. Yes I can choose not to pick it up but then I guess I won't be receiving any calls since I wouldn't know which call is really mine or someone else's. That said, I cannot NOT pick up the phone when the press is calling for me. And when I do pick it up and it's for someone else, I have to transfer it every time. Which I have been doing since you've connected my phone.

4. I've approached you to voice my concerns and you have the gall to tell me to provide YOU with a solution. With all due respect, it's your job as CSD's manager to find that solution, not mine.

5. Lastly, you mentioned the reason that you've establish the connection to my phone is because you can't have it ringing on
YOUR phone, so you've assign it to my phone so that you'll be able to hear it when it rings and be able to pick it up. But according to you, when it did ring a few times just now, you didn't hear those rings. Thus said, it defeats the purpose of having my phone ring instead of yours. It would be more reasonable to connect xxx's phone since she is the nearest to you and you'll be able to hear it when it rings. Why you have chosen my phone which is the furthest from you and has a soft rings makes me wonder indeed.

Regards,
Sharon Teo

PR & Programme Publicity
Vision New Media

My working hours

I'm still in the office. Been like this since beginning of the week. Preparing for major media launch.

We are being gassed in our sleep!

For the past one week, I've been sleeping very well. So well that it's very difficult to wake up which is very weird coz I'm a light sleeper. I've never been able to sleep so deep since I was wearing pinafores. I'm usually awake when my sister wakes up at 6am, I'm aware whenever the bed creaks, or when Whisker barks, or when the other sister gets up to pee. But the past one week, I've been sleeping like a log - I wouldn't even so far as twitch if a monitor lizard were to clamber over me.

The reason? The haze. I think we are being gassed! During the day and in our sleep no less! TV is right, FOG YOU INDONESIA! I would rather much say the other more violent and cruder word, but I won't. But in my mind, I've already repeated it with every wheeze I make.

The situation has become so bad that my asthma has been choking me the past one week. Plus the fact that I've flu the previous week; it's a double whammo for me. I've been having green, sticky clumps of thick phlegm for more than 10 days now! 10 days?! The first dose of antibiotics weren't strong enough and the second stronger dose cost me RM75 per strip! Lord... that hurts more than my chest.

Why are we letting this go on EVERY year? Why are we letting them get away with it? Not only that, but we find out that our own citizens are part of the "Gas Malaysians to Death" plot! They are causing Malaysians untold amounts of money, and our health is suffering! And what about the impact to Nature and the world? The ill effects of Indonesia's selfish and idiotic actions will reverberate negatively in the future, and they are contributing to shortening the Life of the World and its inhabitants. Yes, we are all contributing to the world's demise but they have just delivered one mighty blow to the world's health.

If possible, we should gather all the smog ever created by them and let it rest above Indonesia's head. See how they will like it if they have to breath poisonous fumes every second.

So for today only, Saturday, I thank The Lord for giving us a change of wind direction. I'm just sorry that it's not blowing southwest towards the Land of Pit Fires and lawless citizens. It would serve them right to breath and choke on their own careless and mindless deeds.

No one knows what its like...

Behind Blue Eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

[Chorus:]
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

[Chorus]

Discover l.i.m.p. say it [x4]
No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

[Chorus]

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.

A wake up call in the middle of the night

I got a phone call last week at 3am in the morning from a "friend" in the States and it was not a pleasant call either. At the end, it left me drained and tired from the lack of sleep and I was like a zombie the next morning at work. I was cranky and irritated at everyone, everything, at myself.

I didn't understand why until last weekend.

Last weekend was a good weekend in all sense as we had a feast my family and I. Sis made Pulut Durian (Durian dessert with sticky rice). Mom brought Ayam Percit (specail chicken dish) all the way from KB and on top of that, we pigged out on cempedak (dunno what the English version is called... it's like jack fruit but only sweeter and stickier) and empress cherries from Canada. It was a family weekend.

But I finally had time to reflect on what my life seems to be about. My life has stopped being my own. It seems that I'm always the person there for another and the person to catch someone when he/she falls. But I have no one to catch me when I fall. So far I've not fallen and I'm greatful for that, but I don't like the way my life is now. I'm like Designated Dave, the guy who drives drunken louts home but they don't remember him the next day until they are drunk again and needs his services, in the movie Crazy or something with Melissa Joan Hart. Whatever.

That phone call in the middle of the night was suicidal and last weekend I realised that I had just been emotionally blackmailed. Yes, I feel for this person but I can't very well be there all the time. It galls me that that person called me under the influence of alcohol and then only did his/her true feelings bubbled forth like a babbling (literally) brook that became a dam that burst, with shouts of "No you don't understand" and "how can you ask if I will be ok" at me.

I know that I'm not equip with proper wisdom on how to handle a suicidal person. I was so afraid of triggering something that might lead to grief. I had to basically handle this person for hours, when all I wanted to shout GROW UP and slam the phone down. But I didn't. I couldn't.

It was an emotional turmoil for me as well as I was taken down a path that had me crying and feeling for this person. We make mistakes in our lives but what is it that drives people to such actions and frame of mind? Yes I too sometimes want to scream and shout but suicide? No. I don't think being that stupid will solve anything. If anything, it will only make things worst for my family and friends and I would have had unburdened myself at their expense.

I called again the next day and I'm glad to know all is okay now, that that episode was a lapse. Although I'm "happy" to have been able to help in some way, I feel angry that I've had to conform or else... The feeling of being used as an emotional flogging post is still with me and now I resent this person. I do. It's irrational to a certain extend I know but maybe I'm a emtional mess at the moment that I can't take on other people emotional baggage.

Financially challenged

I've just gone through 4 hours of financial management and I feel worried. According to my financial manager aka Vijay, I'm living on a very thin margin and there is no growth in my income. We talked about me getting a car but at my present salary, I cannot afford a car AND put aside some for savings. I really have got to look for another job. My pay is so low that I can't continue long if I want some improvements in my life. I guess at the moment, any job is better than the one I have now. I'm in the danger zone as I'm really living with what I earn. Every cent I make goes out by the end of the month. Even by cutting down on shopping and entertainment, I still wont be able to afford a car!

Even though I'm techinically not that bad in debt (credit card) I still cannot afford to carry on like this if I wish to increase my income. It galls me that I've working my ass off for VNM and yet I don't make enought to afford a freaking car. I'm looking at a new car since I don't know much about cars and maintanence of it and all that jazz. So I'm looking at a MyVi as a Kancil will be too small for me. I've tried sitting in it and it's crampy for me. Anyway, I have to move on.

Any copywriting jobs anyone wants to throw my way?

Tagged my midnite lily

1. YOUR STAR NAME
(name of first pet + street you live on):
Tiny Telipot (the makings of a Stuart Little movie)

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME
(grandmother's/father's first name + favorite snack):
Lengyen Lays

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME
(first word you see on your left + favorite restaurant):
Executive Chilis

4. YOUR SOCIALITE NAME
(silliest childhood nickname + first town where you partied):
Yongsan Kota Bharu ( I suppose I'll just have to find a Japanese to marry or at least be my escort... hee hee)

5. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME
(first initial + first three letters of your last name):
Steo

6. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME
(favorite animal + name of high school):
Horse Zainab (this kind of name for a detective? Chaplang one la...)

7. YOUR BARFLY NAME
(last snack food you ate + your favorite drink):
Bakchang carbenet sauvigon (imagine combining the two foods! =P)

8. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME
(middle name + city where you were born):
Yong Kelantan (can go for Makyong performances here...)

9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME
(favorite candy + favorite musician's last name):
M&Ms Groban (for the moment since I have have a contant favourite musician)

10. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME
(name of [opposite sex] friend + cell phone company you use):
BrianMaxis

11. YOUR STAR WARS NAME
(first 3 letters of your last name + last 3 letters of mother's maiden name /+/ first 3 letters of your pet's name + first 3 letters of the town you live in)
Teolim PatKot (and my occupation is the art of making light sabers!)

12. I know this is a name test but, name three people you want to take this test.
Estella, Ken & Kien (not of which whom has a blog!)

Drunken stupor evaporates with discovery of a burglary

That was me during the wee hours of Sunday morning.

Estella and I went clubbing on Saturday night at 12SI and when we got back to her car in the parking area at around 4am, we noticed that her car door wasn't tightly shut. We didn't think anything of it as it was locked. Then we got into the car and I opened the glove compartment to get my house keys. They were gone.

I searched for it and it was no where to be found and I knew I put them into the glove compartment as I always do. Estella then noticed that her handbag was gone as well. We search the car and we discovered that my house keys, her purse, ID and cards, and her house keys were gone. The thieves however, didn't take the money in the coins compartment, her detachable stereo, or her CDs. The only things gone were personal stuff which can only mean that the thieves mean to break in to her or my house. That or Estella has a stalker.

Although we weren't drunk or staggering, there were enough alcohol in us to make driving a careless and dangerous act. Estella wanted me to drive as I wasn't as incapacitated as her but I didn't dare as I was not familiar with the roads and it was 4am in the morning where cops are on the prowl for a quick buck. She couldn't drive either. So we stayed in the car and slept. At least she slept. I was too nervous and worried to sleep. I kept waking up every few minutes to check that no one was looking into the car or waiting for us at the back. I would tense at every sound or voice. I kept opening the car door to check if all is clear as well as to let more cool air in - the car was getting stuffy despite the slight opening of our windows. I know I'm a paranoid person, but that was how I was taught to be. To be careful and to question everything. What I'm kicking myself for is not questioning Estella's action of not locking her things in the boot of her car instead of leaving things in plain sight. Even though her bag was under the seat, the thieves would have been tempted to see what else was in her car with so many things thrown in the back seat.

After two hours, Estella woke up and she was clearer. We debated on what to do. She didn't want to go to the police station straight away as that would invite more questions as we reeked of cigarette smoke and alcohol, as we all are after emerging from a club. We are all aware of how our security forces work here and there are not known to be fair or genuinely concern, rather they are known more for their corrupted practices and extortion.

The next day, I accompanied her to the police station in PJ state. She filed that she dropped her purse instead of her car being burglarised.

I hope this won't come back to haunt us.

First time on celluloid

I'm going to be on TV soon for all of 30 seconds. Yeap. It has happened. I worked for a production house, and now I will be on TV. Scary. I sort of got trapped into doing this for a colleague. It was all very fast and misleading but since I had already said yes, I couldn't back out even though I was nervous as hell.

A couple of weeks back, an EP asked me to help him to interview an actress during an audition. It was a fake interview and I was not filmed. So this time when my colleague approached me about helping her interview an actress, I thought it would be the same as before. I didn't realise that she meant for me to act on film!

Even though I was kinda nervous and I really didn't want the rest of the office to see me in thick make up, I had to hide my face and self from them. Not only that, I was to be filmed in my CEO's office and sit in HIS chair to do my part. Whotta rush! Hee hee. I'm suppose to pretend to interview a candidate for a reality makeover show of ours called Looking Good, Feeling Good, but the girl actually thought it was a real interview. I feel so bad for her but it's not my place to let her know otherwise as they wanted her to react naturally as if she's in a real interview.

It was interesting actually and kinda fun as I've never been asked to do anything in front of a camera before. Not only that, Zona was directing. She said I was photogenic. *preeeeeen* Ahem. I know, I know, that coming from Zona, one might think she's bias. But I know she's professional enough not to just simply throw me such a big bone if it weren't true. Hee hee... I don't want to ask about my acting though. Eesh. I'll just watch it when you guys get to watch it later. Scary! But if you do see it, don't be too harsh with me, kay? It's my first acting stint mah, my flash in the pan fame, my 5 seconds in the limelight, my accidental bid to be immortalise on celluloid!!!

^_^

War of the Fringe

Just watched War of The Worlds. My advice, go buy a DVD.

Lord, I have a fringe! Can you believe it? I've not had a fringe since I was 14! The fool of a hairdresser or so he calls himself totally ruined my haircut! I have a fringe and it's neither long nor short which means it's sticking into my eyes! Blopdy irritating is what they are. I feel like I just wanna chop it off but I'll have to settle for pinning them up for the time being. The fool wanted to fix it and he was crazy if he thought I would let him touch my hair or come near my hair with a pair of scissors ever again.

Not only did the cut was not what I wanted. The hair wash was painful - nails - and the blow-drying... groan. There were 2 of them blow-drying my hair, one pulling one side, the other pulling on the other. I was being tug side to side. It would be hilarious if I weren't so angry. I tolerated it as long as I could but then I saw that one side of my hair was flat and the other puffed up! What the fuck! I waved my hands in the air and shouted, "STOP! Enough! Give me that hair brush!" I had to repair their work and there's not much I can do unless I wet my hair again and start all over again. On top of that, while I was doing my own hair with the two tuggers looking on in uneasiness, the fool of a hair dresser was not even paying attention as he was busy chatting up some pretty girl. I was ready to walk out when he came over to check. Told him I was not happy and that I have a fringe when I specifically told him, "I want it this long so that I can sweep them back over my ears!" What planet is he from that he didn't understand me. Later when I complained he suggested I cut it shorter so it wouldn't be irritating! I wanted to strangle him. As if I would let him touch my hair ever again!

Actually, serve me right for trying to save thirty ringgit. My usual hairdresser in Amcorp is a pro and he is good but he is expensive. Since I was broke this month, thought I save some money. Stupid me. Saving RM30 was not worth it now that I'm stuck with this haircut. Argh!

Not only THAT, the back of my hair is not even! I'm so going back there on Friday when they boss is in.

Patches is much better

Haha, after my encounter with my bag pack combination lock last night, someone suggest I get rid of it. Cannot burn it, la Ken. It'd be futile and it is a GOOD lock as evident by my episode last night. *sheepish grin* I was careless. No need to waste money because I was careless. Plus it costs RM38.

Patches is much better. :smile: He's fatter too. Mom has been feeding him nonstop to get his strength back and he wallowing in excess now. Hee hee. He is so adorable that I can't help but squeeze him everytime I pass him. And he's taking advantage too - when he sees me coming, he'll meet me halfway and nuzzle whatever part he can reach and lean against my legs, with his entire weight, waiting for me to pat him down, which I always do. He loves it when I started with his shoulder and rub vigouriously all the way down to his flanks. After a several long strokes, I'll pat him fondly and send him off. He would then stretch, straighten and do his butt wriggle before trotting off. Sometimes, he would look back at me to see if I would motion him for more pats. He is SO cute. ^_^ Yeah, anyone who knows me knows I adore Patches.

I'm relieved that he is on the mend. His right ear is looking better. There is blood and healing and less pus. The holes on his lower jaw has healed closed and it's no longer an angry red. His inner ear will take longer to heal but at least it is no longer oozing a lot of yellow pus. It's still wet and very red but it's slightly dryer. His left ear is dryer too and only deeper is it red and raw. Thank you God... and all of you for your prayers. *hugs*

He is still not fully recovered yet - his nose is constanly dry and he has fevers on and off - but at least I know he's better and happier. I'll still have to fly back more frequently as well to ensure his well-being. He was so manja last night, trying to get me to pat him and trying to jump on me but since he is too old, he only managed a few inches off the floor.

I just left him dozing after an hour of stroking him to sleep, to come up and bath and snatch a few zzz myself.

Tired. But lighter. =)

Locked out!!!

My god.... I just spent the one hour in panic mode. I'm now at KLIA waiting to board my flight back to KB and to Patches. My flight is at 10.30pm and I still had not picked up my ticket. The deadline was 2 hours before flight. So I had to get there by 8.30pm. So I rushed back from work, got ready and was out of the house by 7.30pm. I was in a rush as you can imagine. All I am carrying is a change of clothes, my laptop and basic neccessities, all cramped into my bagpack. And I had to lock it since I was taking the LRT, bever know whose sticky fingers might find their way into my belongings.

So I got to Sentral Station and I rushed to pick up my ticket at the MAS office. I recited by reference number and then I tried to get my credit card to pay for the ticket. THE DARN LOCK WOULDN'T OPEN! I was like OH SHIT! Everything was inside my bag! I was yanking on the lock, twisting it this way and that, trying the combination again and again and again and trying all sorts of angles. It still wouldn't open! ARGH! I was like "Blast! I can't pay for my ticket! HOW?" The MAS girl was looking impatiently at me as there were other people waiting to be served.

Then, luckily I noticed that the gaps in between the zips was just big enough for my hand to squeeze through as the lock allowed for the open space (it was the cable type lock). Lord, I breathed a sigh of relief and yank the zips as wide as it could go and stuffed my hand in and presto! emerged with my purse!

After I paid for my ticket, I got another ticket for the KLIA Express and boarded it. For the entire 28 minutes journey to KLIA, I fiddled with the lock, trying to open it. It was futile. In the end, I had to try each combination ONE BY ONE. Painstakingly turning the dials and pressing the release button. ONE BY FUCKING ONE. I was up to 664 when the train pulled in at KLIA.

I found a quiet corner in the airport and continued with my dial turning. I reached the 999 and still the bloody thing wouldn't pop open. I really wanted to just smash that evil thing against the wall by that time. But I was afraid that security might question me. =/ and that they might think it was a stolen bad!

So I tried again and started from the top. A few minutes later, LO AND BEHOLD, the lock popped open with a tiny click! I must have reset it when I locked it in a rush. The new combination was very near to the original number and I did try it a few times. My panic state made me clumsy. Sigh.

My laptop's free and now I'm blogging at the airport.

*BIG SIGH*

I worry still, about Patches.

Leaving him behind was painful. I can't help but worry as his wounds are still weaping badly. It has to be cleaned propoerly everyday, and honestly I don't expect my mom to religiously follow the cleansing steps like me. Because of that I worry. If I were there, I would make sure that his wounds are dry and maggots-free.

I just got off the phone with my mom and she tells me that he's still the same as yesterday. I hope he will be better soon. He has been able to walk around a bit since Sunday evening. His has some of his appetite back. I've been giving him antibiotics the past four days, it has certainly helped in fighting off the infection. Again, I just worry that Mom won't cleaned it properly and the weaping wounds will get worse. It's going to be long healing process.

I'm not willing to consider the other option until I really have to. I have no right to do that to him. If only he could talk or that I could understand what he wants. If only. Hah.

My heart is breaking.

I have just finished cleaning out Patches' infected ears. There is pus mixed with blood. There are maggots and they have eaten their way deep into his ear canal and maybe his brains. I fear his time with me will come to an end soon.

I am now back in Kota Bharu for my father's anniversary dinner that my mom is throwing for our family. It will be a gathering of relatives and good food. But it's going to be a sad time for me.

After picking my sister and I from the airport, my mom dropped the bombshell in the car that Patches is heading for the worst.

I'm so worried now after seeing for myself how bad he is. The moment I got back, I examined him. What I saw horrified me. He looks so weak and sick. He is so dirty with that blue stuff (medication to prevent flies from nesting) all over him, plus the pus that is oozing out from his ears and coating his fur into clumps. He barely acknowledged me when last time he used to walk circles around me and wait for me at the door everyday. Now he barely has the energy nor senses to even lift his head to look at me. All he could do was to take in my scent and moved his head almost imperceptively nearer to my hand.

The combination of iodine, bug powder and pus is so bad that when I got my first whiff, it knocked me for six. There were so much yellow pus that sort of looked like salad dressing coz it was mixed with iodine, pus and the powdery stuff. The frothing pool of pus was merely camouflaging the horror beneath it's surface - the black pin-prick size heads of the maggots with bloated bodies slotted neatly side by side when they all tried to crawl out and escape the killing iodine but was stuck as they were too fat to get out. I drained his ear as much as I could and I went in with the tweezers. The horrible creatures were so deep inside that when I pulled them out, there were these resistant suction feelings. Sometimes I pulled out maggots, sometimes I pulled out bleached pieces of dead flesh, and I even pulled out pieces of his cartilage... yet there were no reaction from Patches. He truly feels nothing in his maggot-ridden ears.

This is not my first encounter with maggots. Far from it as I first did this regime of cleaning and tweezing when I was 14 with Tiny. Tiny never recovered fully as he was too old to heal fast enough. I fear the same fate awaits Patches but this time I might not be here to help him. I am contemplating taking a week off work. And it is a critical time now at work. Chances of me getting off is not possible. I think I should just quit. I know I'm not thinking straight right now.

How can I?? I love Patches. He's my baby. He is my best mate. I can't lose him. But I knew that this day would come. I have to admit that I knew that there might be suffering too as he has been having problems with his ears for years now. His age is a factor working against him - 14 human years, 98 dog years. He's old.

I wish I can call someone right now, I just need shoulders to cry on, yet I don't want to let others hear my tears. I feel as though my heart is breaking in two when I think about it... Maybe if I delete this blog, it won't come true.

It's late but I can't sleep. My mind is too full of wonderful memories of love and warmth, with Patches, the horrible sadness of a future without him.