There has been a lot of interesting turns in my life the past 1 month and now do I only have the time to sit back and reflect on it all.
Throwing in my letter on 5 September 2005
On Merdeka Day, I got a phone call that allowed me to change my life's path: a job offer to work in an advertising company as a junior consultant in their PR division. Since it will be in a different industry but the same line of work, closer to my sister's workplace thus eliminating the non-transport factor, and the company being bigger and dynamic, I decided to take up their offer.
I was all ready to throw in my letter the very next day but my superior was on leave. In any case, I couldn't resign anyway as I still didn't have the offer letter in hand. My younger and more naive self would have done it without the offer letter, but the older me now decided not to be so foolish even though the urge to get out asap was strong. So I waited until Monday.
Came Monday, I sat both my superiors down and told them I was resigning and I slid the my letter over to them. One of them was not surprised as I had already told her last week of my intentions as I felt I owe it to her not to blind side her. The other, younger and cockier superior, I had no such considerations for. The look on her face was worth the wait. I know she bears no lost love for me and vice versa. Work is work like she always like to say and she mentioned several times of others who complained, that "if you don't like it here, then leave". I left and the look of surprise on her face was worth all the biting back of words that I had to do previously.
Yes, she's a good manager but only when it serves to advance her position. She's a nice person I suppose as all colleagues can be and as nothing is personal. True we all get short when we are stressed and I respect her because she's quite good in her work, but I do not respect her because she doesn't seem to have the decency to respect me as her colleague, support and junior. It's never about the workload. I can handle a huge workload as long as I feel I have support from my team but here I do not have that luxury. Here, I feel stabbed in the back by her and just disgusted when she shows such a faux front when she needs my help and only to find out later that she was stabbing me in the back with other managers and frankly, taking credit for my work. Case and point, the tagline for one of our new projects. I came up with the tagline "3 Girls, 2 Dilemmas, 1 Decision" but I hear from a colleague that she's telling everyone that she and I came up with it. All she did was ordered me to come up with a tagline and a 5 words line to describe the programme. She didn't come up with anything. All she did was choose and approve my work. I churned out pages of taglines for her to choose from, and that too she has to get approval from our project consultant. So I do not see how it is that she and I came up with it as she claimed. That's just taking credit for something you didn't do. But one thing I cannot deny is that I did learn from her, when compared to my previous Manager who I can honestly say was the crappiest manager I've ever met. At least with my last manager, she was willing to teach and for that I can honestly say she was a good manager and good colleague. The above, I just needed to say it to get off my chest as there were a lot of things she did that I do not agree with and one very recent one was asking me to hand over my contacts to her!!! I was like "What the fuck?!" As if I'm gonna give over my hard-earn contacts to anyone! Told her no but she sent me an email saying that since I got those contacts via my representation of VNM, threfore all info belonged to the company. She just wants the easy way out of everything. Well, this time I'm not complying. So I gave her the general numbers of all the papers without giving the direct contacts. Except maybe some that I know she can get. See? That already shows what kind of person she is. Give her my contacts?? Hah! This is one thing that she'll have to work for on her own and no more riding on my back. Sorry, I'm still fuming. I asked around and everyone's reaction was "tell her to go and die"... kid you not. I asked people in my industry, I asked my sister's friend who runs an events company and he laughed and then looked seriously at me asking, "You didn't give it to her, right??" Eeesh.
There's loads of reason why I left this company. It's a good company as it has a bright future, but it's future will be marred by people coming and going so frequently that the company will not grow when there is a lot of work stuck in between these comings' and goings' gaps.
There are loads of amazing and talented people in this company but the management do not see this. And even if they do, they seem helpless and uninterested to really do anything about it. They keep saying that want to improve things in the company and they do all sorts of useless activities to bring this about. But one thing they have overlooked is their own selves. Management has to change in order for the chain reaction to take place. Nothing will change if management remains the same, cut-off entity that only moves when prodded with a cattle prod. They should all send their managers to etiquette and moral classes. Maybe then they will know how to treat their staff better.
I hear that they want to bring in a manger to fill my post. Good luck to them and I say this with a smile and a finger. Yes the manager will probably do better than me but for them to pay me so little and with that tiny increment, it was an insult to my BA. And now with them hiring a manager, it's a slap. But though I do not thank the company personally for my growth, I thank them for giving me the chance to learn about life and the human character in the work place.
By the way, I initially thought of leaving at the end of the year when the new project finishes, but with the whole phone receptionist thing and a superior who is more concern about protecting her interests than helping me fight for my rights as a team member, I felt it was time for me to go and seek a lesser brownish pasture. Loyalty is a nerve-dead sentiment is today's work place. Work is work, nothing is personal...
I confess that I leave with a slightly heavy heart as I did enjoy my work there and despite all the crap above, we were a workable team that can be dynamic with the right push and attitude. I've made some really good friends here and I wish them all the best and the best that they can reap from their lives.
Diving with a whale shark
The highlight of my life at the moment is the experience of diving and touching a gentle giant, the whale shark.
I went to Redang for diving with TJJ 9 - 11 September 2005 (last weekend) and it was the best diving experience of my life. Since this is only my 2nd diving trip, I was still a little rusty in my buoyancy control. But after a couple of dives, under the watchful eyes of the Pelangi Redang Dive Centre's dive master, Teng JanShir, and with a few good tips and cautions from Tom, I managed to improve my buoyancy control and I'm all the better for it as it allowed me to dive so well on my 10th dive, THE dive with the whale shark.
We were suppose to descend and meet at the 18m mark but 8 meters down, we heard the alert (tank banging) from JanShir and we all automatically look at him. He signalled and pointed to the right of me. I turned and there, just barely a shadow, was a silhouette of something huge gliding towards us. Out of the black depth, it glided nearer and nearer, until we could clearly make out the distinctive yellow spots making the gentle giant. It was 23 feet, just a juvenile and a curious one at that. It lazily swam passed us and all of us were to stunned to do anything but gawked. In my mind, I breathed a "Ohhh miiigawd" but from my mouth came, "Holy Shit!" when my brain caught up with what my eyes were telling it what they were actually looking at.
We were actually geared up for a dive to Mak Chantik when the alert came in. We unanimously decided to take the chance to dive for the whale shark when the dive master asked us if we wanted to try looking for the whale shark. He kept reminding us that we might not see it and that it was a slim chance. Poseidon was surely favouring us that day when he allowed us to anchor our boat right above where the gentle giant was below. It was a miracle to be able to witness and dive in the presence of one of the most amazing creature on earth.
We dived for 50 mins with the whale shark as it kept circling back to check us out and to play with our bubbles. It was playful as it swam within a hairsbreadth of me a few times. I have this amazing snapshot in my head as it swam past me and I finned gentle along side it and them I went under its belly. Looking up, my breath caught at the sight - the whale shark was silhouetted against the sun and all I could see was the shape and bright sunlight above. It was truly a shot worthy of National Geographic. I'm glad one of the dive master managed to get just such a shot later on.
At first I was hesitant to touch it as I didn't want to frighten or harm it in any way, but after when it swam so near me so many times, my hand haltingly reached out and it glided past my fingertips. It felt like my wet suit. It was a curious feeling, a mixture of awe and sadness for I knew what a fight it is to keep these gentle giants alive. By right, we should not be touching it and letting it get use to our presence. His curiosity might be the death of him one day and that is what I fear the most.
Finally, we had to leave as we were running very low on air. Some of us had even reached the red limit. When we were getting out of the water, the giant juve was still gliding beneath our fins.
It was truly a great experience.
Not just the whale shark encounter but the whole dive trip to Redang. We had a good group and we could connect well. This trip was one of the best vacation I've had in a long time, and possible the best ever.
Immortalised on TV
After Redang, I came back and I was on TV. I smsed everyone in my phone book to watch out for my 10 seconds of fame. It was hilarious! I couldn't help but laugh every time I caught sight of myself on TV. There were so many smses coming in that added to my mirth! Thank you all for your support, I truly appreciate the fact that so many family and friends took time out and with amazing patience, waited for me to appear on TV even though it was only 10 seconds. Thank you all. =)
So that's my life at the moment. I will start work at my new job on Oct 3rd 05. Right after I come back from Perhentian for my Advance Open Water course. *grin* I should make use of my free time to take it up if I want to make it to sipadan soon.
Diving is divine.
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