Tabula Rasae

10:35pm. People walked passed me, trying not to be too obvious when they stared at me giving me looks of "what is she doing here" and cataloging me from the tip of my fake-pierced ears to my tip of my 3-inch boots. I was dressed to go out clubbing, an attire not entirely suitable for a 5 star hotel lobby where the patrons were Arabs and Japanese hobnobs.

I told myself that I wanted a quiet friday night. I told myself I was gonna stay at home and catch up on my reading and chores. But I didn't listen to myself that night. I went out.

Why pass up a chance to have fun with friends? Life is just too short to pass up experiences that fundamentally build who you are.

Aqmal asked if I wanted to go to Zouk that night and I said, "Sure why not," when he mentioned that the Cleo's 50 Most Eligible Bachelors was going to be there. I didn't say yes out of sheer greediness to pass my peepers over those men, I said yes because I was suppose to be 'out there meeting new people'. I also said yes when Lydia was included into the party. It has been awhile that we've caught up with each other.

I sat facing the entrance, all ready to spring into the car when Aqmal came to fetch me. We had agreed that I was to wait for him in the hotel lobby. The 'inconspicuous' security guard was eyeing me the moment I walked into the hotel. I felt out of place, so I went to freshen up to get out his subtle scrutiny. I dilly-dallied in the marble-pasted washroom for as long as I could. Still no call. Then I remembered that he had run out of credits, so I called him instead - he was only into the main course, still a few more dishes to go. I had no choice but to wait for him to finish the gala dinner.

11.00pm. I went back outside, my irritation boosted my confidence enough that I took the nearest chair to the security guard, and as I sat my tushy down, I made sure I took the chair that was facing him. I may not fit in with the furnishing but I'll be damn if I'll let some guy in a beige uniform and a walkie-talkie chase me off. I stared unseeingly at him, all the while remembering random flashes.

As I sat there just staring into space, people came and went. The bunned-waitress came by my coffee table and took away the flower, vase, and little menu, and moved the other chairs back into their perceived angles, noisily. I ignored her.

11.30pm. I called Lydia. She had just finished getting ready and was waiting for Yazid to pick her up. After that, I played Stacked Attack on my phone. During a crucial moment, I lost my concentration when I caught sight of several pairs of golden legs walking pass my table. I looked up, up, and up. They must have been models for they were all beautiful Caucasian girls with legs up to their armpits and short flirty skirts, and they were all the same height. I had but one thought, "Wow..."

11.45pm. I called my sister and brought her up to speed, and that if by midnight, if I was still in the lobby, sitting in that vinyl chair, I was gonna call it quits. Right after I ended the call, I got a message from Lydia saying they were on their way. I felt relief that somebody still remembered me. With a renewed sense of well-being, I walked to the guard, passed him and snagged a copy of that day's newspapers behind him.

12.02am. Flip, flip, rustle, rustle. I can read. They should be here soon, so I return the paper to its table.

12.04am. I see Lydia and Yazid pull up at the entrance. Phew.

Yazid, Lydia and I parked and waited for Aqmal to arrive. Nick called and he said he was at the back, waiting to go in. The gala dinner had just finished, and whoever organised the thing, did a piss poor job. Hmmph. I remembered my colleague who is also in the list, so I decided to give him a call. He didn't know who I was. Talk about fame going to your head fast. He didn't even know my surname. Had to remind him I'm the Sharon that sits across him at work and with that, I hung up. I was too disgusted, still am.

Aqmal and his date, Michelle finally arrived. Nick came out front and we all chatted for a while. He looked lost, and troubled. I felt sorry for him that his girlfriend wasn't there to support him. She didn't agree with the whole idea of him being in the list. Who wants their boyfriend to be in the list and have countless girls coveting him? I like the fact that Nick is not proud like some that he is in the list. Some really are shy and some just pretend at being modest. I'm glad Nick is the former.

Since it was way past 11pm, we had to pay to go into the Velvet Underground. As usual, I let the music take me and I shelved my worries for the time being and danced my cares away. I had fun and I realised a few more things about life... my life at least.