Pulau Perhentian, here I come!

We will be driving down to Terengganu tonight! Ooh, I'm so excited! I'll be getting my PADI dive license finally! I'll ber back Tuesday night. So see you all then!

I'm going diving, tralalalala... ^_^

My first night dive

Haha, I went for my first night dive last night. Yeah, how glamorous does that sound. It was actually more interesting that I thought it'd be - as if it's gonna be different in a pool. I saw slime and more slime, and a few more traces of slime. GRIN

Nah, it was cool. Zona and I learned some emergency techniques and how to take off and wear our equipment under water. The hardest part was taking of the weights - I was tipping sideways and had to use more muscle to haul it out of the water one handed. Putting it back on was cumbersome as well. But it was an experience.

Two more days to go. I'm soooo counting down to Saturday. We will be driving down to Terengganu on Friday night, and will reach KT by 7am in the morning so that we can catch the early boat out to Pulau Perhentian.

^_______^

Catalytically catastrophic effect?

Omigawd... the downside of blogging is that it's potentially a catalyst for unsuspecting emotional duress. And I'm involved somehow in that mess. Crap. I don't treat my blog like a diary, I treat it like a journal and I write things in it, things about what I see and do everyday and how I feel about my day, my life. Of course I'm beginning to wonder if my choice of words leaves some things to be desired. Okay, I shouldn't have used the word 'date', I should have said friends or buddy or something. But then 'date' to me here means just company. My sister says I should have used another word. Bleah, I feel guilty. When I started blogging, I expected that there might be things that will blow up in my face, not in my friends. *sigh... puff bangs*

Tabula Rasae

10:35pm. People walked passed me, trying not to be too obvious when they stared at me giving me looks of "what is she doing here" and cataloging me from the tip of my fake-pierced ears to my tip of my 3-inch boots. I was dressed to go out clubbing, an attire not entirely suitable for a 5 star hotel lobby where the patrons were Arabs and Japanese hobnobs.

I told myself that I wanted a quiet friday night. I told myself I was gonna stay at home and catch up on my reading and chores. But I didn't listen to myself that night. I went out.

Why pass up a chance to have fun with friends? Life is just too short to pass up experiences that fundamentally build who you are.

Aqmal asked if I wanted to go to Zouk that night and I said, "Sure why not," when he mentioned that the Cleo's 50 Most Eligible Bachelors was going to be there. I didn't say yes out of sheer greediness to pass my peepers over those men, I said yes because I was suppose to be 'out there meeting new people'. I also said yes when Lydia was included into the party. It has been awhile that we've caught up with each other.

I sat facing the entrance, all ready to spring into the car when Aqmal came to fetch me. We had agreed that I was to wait for him in the hotel lobby. The 'inconspicuous' security guard was eyeing me the moment I walked into the hotel. I felt out of place, so I went to freshen up to get out his subtle scrutiny. I dilly-dallied in the marble-pasted washroom for as long as I could. Still no call. Then I remembered that he had run out of credits, so I called him instead - he was only into the main course, still a few more dishes to go. I had no choice but to wait for him to finish the gala dinner.

11.00pm. I went back outside, my irritation boosted my confidence enough that I took the nearest chair to the security guard, and as I sat my tushy down, I made sure I took the chair that was facing him. I may not fit in with the furnishing but I'll be damn if I'll let some guy in a beige uniform and a walkie-talkie chase me off. I stared unseeingly at him, all the while remembering random flashes.

As I sat there just staring into space, people came and went. The bunned-waitress came by my coffee table and took away the flower, vase, and little menu, and moved the other chairs back into their perceived angles, noisily. I ignored her.

11.30pm. I called Lydia. She had just finished getting ready and was waiting for Yazid to pick her up. After that, I played Stacked Attack on my phone. During a crucial moment, I lost my concentration when I caught sight of several pairs of golden legs walking pass my table. I looked up, up, and up. They must have been models for they were all beautiful Caucasian girls with legs up to their armpits and short flirty skirts, and they were all the same height. I had but one thought, "Wow..."

11.45pm. I called my sister and brought her up to speed, and that if by midnight, if I was still in the lobby, sitting in that vinyl chair, I was gonna call it quits. Right after I ended the call, I got a message from Lydia saying they were on their way. I felt relief that somebody still remembered me. With a renewed sense of well-being, I walked to the guard, passed him and snagged a copy of that day's newspapers behind him.

12.02am. Flip, flip, rustle, rustle. I can read. They should be here soon, so I return the paper to its table.

12.04am. I see Lydia and Yazid pull up at the entrance. Phew.

Yazid, Lydia and I parked and waited for Aqmal to arrive. Nick called and he said he was at the back, waiting to go in. The gala dinner had just finished, and whoever organised the thing, did a piss poor job. Hmmph. I remembered my colleague who is also in the list, so I decided to give him a call. He didn't know who I was. Talk about fame going to your head fast. He didn't even know my surname. Had to remind him I'm the Sharon that sits across him at work and with that, I hung up. I was too disgusted, still am.

Aqmal and his date, Michelle finally arrived. Nick came out front and we all chatted for a while. He looked lost, and troubled. I felt sorry for him that his girlfriend wasn't there to support him. She didn't agree with the whole idea of him being in the list. Who wants their boyfriend to be in the list and have countless girls coveting him? I like the fact that Nick is not proud like some that he is in the list. Some really are shy and some just pretend at being modest. I'm glad Nick is the former.

Since it was way past 11pm, we had to pay to go into the Velvet Underground. As usual, I let the music take me and I shelved my worries for the time being and danced my cares away. I had fun and I realised a few more things about life... my life at least.

Limbo

I am neither here nor there. Yet I feel as though I'm everywhere. Things I see and do makes no sense yet I do not care, feeling like this feeling so stripped and bare. This emptiness inside me where, this space of infinity everywhere, I know that I have feelings somewhere, but if there are I'm unaware.

Why would I feel such raw feelings there? When I have nothing substantial to compare. Why you ask would I even dare, to tell the world of my wear and tear?

I tell because I want to share
I tell because I am aware
That this space is mine fair and square
Therefore I blog whatever I want when and where...

This one is for you, papa.

Had my first taste of scuba diving today. Went for a pool session in KL and by gosh, I had a blast! I've always wanted to scuba dive but I never got the chance until now. There were some parts I didn't know about, but it wasn't hard to learn. Seriously, the basic is quite easy but of course there are the cardinal rules and all like never use your BCD to float up, but swim up if you don't want to rupture your eardrums, don't take a full lung of air when ascending if you don't want to rupture your lungs. Hmm... everything is about pressure underwater methinks.

That first puff of air underwater was interesting to say the least, startling in fact and I never thought breathing underwater, from an tank filled with atmospheric air could be so easy. The hard part was controlling the buoyancy. Breathing in you fill float, breathing out you sink. It is hard trying to hover - where you just stay in one spot, neither going up nor down - I tried to hover properly, but everytime I relax I tipped backwards, prompting my hands and legs to flail wildly to keep upright. Weird. My tank can't be that heavy. Gan, my instructor says that when it's in sea water, the tank will float up, but since this is a pool, the tank will sink. Okay, I get that. But what I don't get is me tipping backwards, when others didn't. My balance is sooo off. Eeek.

I really enjoyed myself learning how to dive. I can't wait for the next pool session next week!

This was arranged by Tom, El-Presidente of TJJ. Zona and Aqmal are learning how to dive too! Way cool. We will be going for our open water dives in Pulau Perhentian, come May 1st!

Weird, I feel as though I'm actually floating now, like I'm still in the water. ^__^

The shoot's been postponed!

Yeah, I called them. They forgot to call me. Blech. So not impressed with them right now, can't believe they forgot to inform me of such an important change. So not happy about this; here I was, all excited and grining about tomorrow, only to call them and be told, it's not happening yet. SO WHEN? Don't they dare call me next week to tell me that they are planning to shoot May 1 - 4! Argh.

But then, I'll be learning how to scuba dive this Sunday! Yay! Sooo excited now. Joy to the waterworld!

^__^

Oh darn! I forgot Kim's birthday!

Happy Belated Birthday, Kimberley!

I'm soooo sorry Kim! I forgot your birthday! I hope that you're not keeping score. *grin* Haha... I know it is on the 9th April, hopes this belated blog posting counts.

Happy Birthday Kim.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HHHHUUUUUGGGGGG))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Have they forgotten me?

I'm still waiting for Kelly from REAL Boutique to call. Why haven't they called? I can't even confirm this saturday and then sunday I have the pool session. Argh.

It's been one stressful week so far. Everything is URGENT. Everything needs to be done NOW. I can't even prioritise coz everybody wants something ASAP. I'm actually leaving earlier these days despite my work load. I'm just so fed up up to there by the end of the day, that I won't stay the usual couple of hours to finish up or do something extra. The mood is not there. I can't really describe it. It's like I'm in a lull, slow-mo, but then everyone's talking in high speed, my fingers, my eyes are darting back and forth and yet I have a floaty feeling, a numb feeling. My brains feel like they are on fire yet strangely the burn is fluffy. Hmm...

Call me, darnit!

Rockin' Friday Night

Phew, had a fantastic Friday night, as I haven't been clubbing in a long time. Haha. I lie. =P. Went to BarMed in Hartamas with Angie and her friends. I've noticed the place before but I never had an inkling of how great a club it is. They play R&B and the place is huge! There's two level and the view from the top is awesome. I love the music there - they played Linkin Park! Who wouldn't be jiving when that is playing? *grin* And then after 1am, they play trance, though their choices are something to be desired.

Was supposed to have dinner with Angie, but she was working late, so we just jumped to the clubbing part instead. Anyway, met up with two of her friends, Desmond and Jody, both exceptional guys, and then later Wilson, whom I told him in a slightly 'high' state that he will be one of my good friends from that night onward. ^_^ He's a hardcore raver and he too tried to teach me to Melbourne Shuffle and again I was wearing heels, thus foiling his attempt to teach me to be a hardcore raver. Why oh why? Every time I get a chance to learn this elusive dance, I'm always wearing inappropriate footwear? Blech. But anyway, that didn't stop us from climbing the pool ladder and onto the narrow platform to dance. Later, we were joined by Desmond and Angie. Poor Jody had to stay up there and guard our purses - he was not too happy about that methinks.

I came home tipsy. The rounds were on the guys and they kept ordering and ordering. Next time will have to order a couple of rounds for them, but then if they insist on paying, why not? =P Nah, I really enjoyed myself that night, not because of the clubbing, but because of the company. I felt comfortable with them even though they are strangers. Desmond went out of his way to make me feel welcome and for that I think he's cool. All of them are.

Strangely enough, this is the first time I went clubbing with Angie, I think. I can't remember going clubbing with her before and she's cool too. Though we didn't manage to talk much but it was great all the same.

So what did I learn from all this, you ask? Well, I learn that good friends are hard to come by and those that are your friends will be your friend no matter how long you've not seen them. I've also realised that dancing my cares away work, for a while at least. Then reality rears its insistent head and it all comes back, but with less vengence. *shrug*

Did I mention that I think that you-know-who is extremely odious?!

I'm getting my diving license!

I've just paid my deposit for a scuba diving course and we will be going to Perhentian and Lang Tengah to dive!

*doing the water moves* Dum dah dah dee dum dum, dah dah dah dum dah dah dee dum dum...

AND Zona is going too! This is all organised by Tom, El Prsidente of TJJ E Adventure. Will be going in May 1 - 4 and total cost is RM990. The pool sessions are on the 18, 24, and 25 of this month. But then, I haven't applied for my leave yet, though I have mentioned it to Helen that I'll be taking leave in May to go get my scuba license. So it should be no problem. After all I'll only be taking one day off, not like a week or anything.

I'm finally gonna get my diving license. Hooray kam kam. *Now where did that come from?" ^__^

My blood is coagulating

Argh! Had another encounter with you know who and my blood was boiling after work yesterday and today I'm still mad. I cannot believe she is putting the blame on me! She read through the News Release before, she even 'corrected' it and now she's telling me that the news release I sent out was not informationally correct? You bloody freakin stupid woman! I got the go ahead from you to send it after you went through and now you're telling me I'm to bear the sole responsibility?! All because of one word.

Yesterday, one of the bosses sent a rep to come and clarify things with her and both of them got into a sort of argument and then later, this bloody freakin woman comes to me to lay it on me. I do not see it as my mistake, but her's. Even during the press interview (the only one I got to attend coz I liased with the photographer) the reporter mentioned that 'word/description' and the bloody woman never even batted an eyelash at that supposed wrong info. She was too busy smiling and sitting pretty on the side of the platform when others were sitting crossed legged on it. Then now you come and tell me that I'm responsible?! Why didn't you correct the reporter then you bloody freaking idiot? Argh! I will not take the fall for this one. I already took one for her, I will not this time!!!

I'm so mad my blood is coagulating.

Stop the senseless Killing of Seal Pups

I just read an article about the culling of seal pups in Canada in the Malay Mail, Wednesday, March 31, 2004 by Danny Penman and I'm am extremely upset about it.

"From my vantage point nearby, I watched as the men slowly, stealthy, fanned out across the ice. Tens of thousands of young harp seal looked at them expectantly. Many were only two weeks old and this was their first encounter with man. Was it fear or just curiousity in the eyes they raised to greet these new arrivals?

Then, one of the men lifted a steel-tipped club high above his head and brought it down with the full force of his muscular frame, straight onto the head of one of the helpless pups.

The sound of shattering bone echoed into the distance. Canada's seal-clubbing season had begun." - Danny Penman

The pups are then skinned.


Canada is culling its seals to repair the damage they (they fishermen) did to the environment - the decimation of cods in its waters. Remember the news a few years back about Canada's collapsing fishing industry? Well, they are blaming it on the seals and now they are culling them. Idiots. Murderers.

'John Efford, a Canadian Liberal MP, said publicly that he wants the cull to be even larger.

He said: "I would like to see the six million seals, or whatever number is out there, killed and sold or destroyed and burned. I do not care what happens to them. The more they kill, the better I will love it."'

They are killing helpless, lovable, innocent creatures by bashing in their skulls and they are justifying it with "They are taking away our livelihood"??? If anyone is taking away something, it is Man, not Nature and its creatures.

"As the hunters swept across the ice, mother seals would follow them at a safe distance. Soon I realized some were searching for their young. Each crimson carcass was carefully sniffed and nuzzled as they tried to make sense of the slaughter."

This is barbaric. This is unfair. And it has to stop. What can we do? I hope that by blogging about it, more people will be aware of this murder spree going on on the other side of the world.

Should I or shouldn't I

Blech. My ears are still ringing and it is seriously giving me problems concentrating at work. Friends and family are urging me to go see a doctor but I'm uncertain. The last specialist I saw back in th 90's yielded little is no results. He did all sorts of tests on me and all he could tell me is that I have a problem. Even that conclusion was inconclusive. He was a useless doctor - government hospital, native. I'm not trying to be racist but with experiences like those, I can't help but judge. Bad of me I suppose but I don't go to government hospital these days. Private hospitals may be expensive but at least you know you'll be taken care off properly, not left out in the corridor to die, from sickness or boredom, maybe both.

I know I should go consult another doctor, but the thought of my bill from the specialist... aiks. Scary.