Which pasture's grass is healthier?

Ben offered me another position in the company, and he gave me 24 hours to decide if I want to switch position. The position offered is the GM's Assistant who will be a PA as well as be in charge of booking the air time slots, do the trade kits, marketing kits and a whole other sort of variable. Now what I'm doing now is not much different as the only thing different is the booking thing. I'm already bogged down with work - I run around for other bosses (I have 5) and I still do the marketing and trade kits, on top of translation when needed.

I can't decide if I want to go or stay. Like I ask Zona, which side of the pasture has healthier grass? If I take Ben's offer, I'd still be bogged down with work and I'll be working under Priya. 'Tis weird, I have a feeling she doesn't like me much. I'm paranoid like that. So do I suck it up and stay or do I try for other things? Or do I just leave this company altogether?

I've talked to Helen about my workload and she wants me to show her my time sheet so that she can decide what to do. She probably thinks that it's not heavy. Why else would she not give me a definite answer? She keeps saying, "Let’s take a look at your timesheet first." I don't know what to do here. I'm trying to find a balance for myself. I'm also trying to discover my limits. I have not said a word to Helen all this time coz I want to see how much I can take before I break. Yeah I'm sadistic that way.

Ben cannot understand why I'm not jumping at his offer as I have been complaining to him about working in the marketing dept. My side of the office is quiet and sterile as opposed to Ben's, which is loud and cheerful. My side is a bad environment for working I think, not conducive. I understand why he is bewilded but I find that I cannot take the hand he is holding out to me.

Although I have learned much from Ben and yet to learn anything from Rajesh, I find that I am curious about the PR world and working for Helen. She is part of the reason why I took this marketing job.

Last week when I was at my breaking point, I made a half-conscious decision to quit. But then, nothing is easy in Life. So I told myself to stop being a baby and grow up. So I decided to stay and then now this. I really don't know what to do.

Whatever I decide tonight, I will have to live with it for the rest of my life. Do I take a turn or do I go straight?