Estranged

I've been so quiet today that I've lost my ability to socialise. Today, the marketing dept celebrated two of my colleagues birthday and even though they invited me, I didn't feel like a part of their group. I felt out of place. So I left. I didn't want to be there when it doesn't seem right for me to be there.

I feel disjointed from the rest of the world. The estrangement doesn't just happen on my side but from theirs as well, so I guess all sides are mutually keeping away from each other. But why? It is not as if that is what I want to happened but somehow it did. Whatever triggered it... was it my fault? Did I do something wrong?

But the thing I figured about the other side is that they aren't very connectable. It might seem weird but that is the way I feel at the moment. They are social friends. I get that. They aren't close friends and I should think of them as such. I should.