neverneverland commented: "You need to put some brakes on your downhill tumble here ... From being trivially bored to regularly PMS-ing to random distrust to justifying means ... Maybe it's better to be casually free to renewing life to trusting yourself to accepting ends ... Just maybe ..."
Never have a comment struck me so profoundly, with the same effect of a bucket of cold water.
Strangely enough, I didn't see the downhill path I am on. Some might even suggest it's manic depression. Maybe it is. I don't know.
But I am looking at how to change it now. Can I jump off this career path and onto one that leads me into the jungle or the ocean? Would I be able to? Do I have the courage to do so? How does one take another path totally different from the one she's been taught to follow? I wish I know how.
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