I had that horrible dream again and it played out exactly like the first time I had it a few months back. I can't help but wonder when you have reoccurring dreams, is it am omen of bad things to come or an omen of exactly what is to come? If that is the case then I'm in trouble. Or rather my life is just a candle waiting to be blown out.
It was/is a horrible feeling - the feeling of the bullet slamming into my gut, the black swirly pain and then I lurch awake. I had this dream last night and I'm still shaken today. It was exactlythe same.
Maybe I'm dreaming of this coz it is an innate fear that is driving my emotions to the brink like this. I won't call it phobia but rather it is like the fear of being discovered. Like I'm the rabbit hiding in a hole, and the farmer with the big shotgun is stomping around outside trying to pull me out.
It's stupid to fear something that I should not fear. But it is there. I wish I know how to banish this fear but I don't. It is something that will always be at the back of my mind, ticking, waiting just for the right moment.
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