Ringing in my ears

I think I've been clubbing too much lately coz I still have ringing in my ears after 1 week. Argh it's driving me crazy. The official medical term for it is Tinnitus. I feel as though the left side of my ear is stuffed with cotton and trapped inside is an off-line TV. Stop it! I feel like I Am Going Out Of My Mind! I hate it when it gets this loud. It is the only thing I can hear in my head and it's nothing but the no transmission "Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut".

I am gonna be sick.

Working with a slight hangover

I have to put this in. Did I ever mention that my boss is odious?! Arrgghhh! I hate her!

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Last night was a pretty interesting night, whereas the day was boring like hell. It needed shaking up anyway.

First of all, got to see Aqmal in his Japanese costume, wig and all when I tagged alone to his dress 'rehearsal' for a short film in which he is the lead actor. ^__^ It was pretty funny coz the costume was too big for him and plus the long highlighted wig, makes him almost 'pretty'. He reminded me of that music video by the Foo Fighters where they all dressed up as the characters on the plane. Aqmal, last night, reminded me of the 'girly' fan in pink. Aiks. *Gonna take cover for a while now* The short film's director is Idora something. I can't remember her last name. What was it? Anyway, she's very nice, as were all the people there last night.

By the time we left to go to Zouk, it was 11pm. Estella has been texting me the passed hour asking where I was - she was already in Zouk.

Getting to Zouk itself was easy and we were already near the place. But getting INTO Zouk itself was omigawd. We had to register to get in as it was an invitation only grand club opening. So we line up and waited. And waited, and waited. Then it was our turn. Goody. Then, "Opps sorry, we've run out of tags!" What the hell? Estella had left by that time. Sheesh.

Finally, somebody came with a few more measly tags. We managed to get some as we were already ahead in line. Then we had to line up to get into the Velvet Underground. There were that many people. But when we went in, there weren't that many people at all. I think most people had already left as it was a working day the next day. Same for me but I still wanted to see Zouk.

The deco was very interesting. The place is big, bigger than Atmosphere I think and it's funkier too. It looks like some sort of cave concept thing with 'unfinished' surfaces. With retro looking stuff hanging from the ceiling. And they were playing trance and house which made it worth it, the 3 free house pouring was worth it as well. =P

Anyway, enjoyed myself dancing. It was good music. Btw, Aqmal forgot how to Melbourne Shuffle! =P

Already set for April 17th, Saturday

Yay, I'm confirmed as one of REAL's models for the catalogue shoot! I sent Kelly my photos last week and she never called back. I was concerned that maybe they took one look at my pictures and decided to can them. So I called Kelly today, and she put my fears to rest when she apologised for not calling me back last week. Phew. So she told me that the shoot has been pushed back to April 17th, Saturday. She said she showed my pictures to her boss and he said okay, she can use me. Not exactly the wow effect I was hoping for =p but it is good enough for me.

I'm so thrilled! Soooooo absolutely smashingly thrilled! *BIG GRIN*

Crackling with furious energy

I was feeling restless and just plain fed up with the world. You see, I got my appraisal today and yes so they want me to continue, and they are happy with me, BUT... I don't feel like blogging about it though I'm not happy with the end. Am I motivated to work better? Yes, but maybe not for this company. There are no rewards working here. None!

Called Estella up and we decided it's high time we went dancing again. Can't remember the last time I went clubbing with Estella - been ages. Brings back fond memories of Perth when we would dance till morning, go back and sleep till night. Those were interesting times.

We met Elise and her friends at Atmosphere and we got in for free coz birthday boy was one of Elise's friend. Got in a couple of vodka shots and we left to go to.... *wait for it* Nouvo! Yay. The club with the radio deejay. Whoopee-freakin'-do. The moment I walked in and ordered my vodka lime, I got hit on by a Nigerian, who wanted to give me his mobile number within 5 minutes of asking for my name. I didn't want to be all 'snubbish' so I gave him my name and shook his hand real business-like and then tried to get my drink asap from the snail-pace waiters. Persistent idiot tried to get my attention by grabbing my waist. Shook him off and told him my 'boyfriend' was waiting for me and waved in the general direction of a bunch of rowdy guys at the other end of the room. Idiot then asked for my number! I mean, D-U-H! Told him no, grabbed my drink and quickly walked towards my 'boyfriend'. Eeeesh... Even in that smoke-filled space, he had bad BO and that smell. As if. You think we are all that easy, you moron?! You want a 'sweet girl' you go to the beach club!

After that icky incident, I was not in the mood to be hit on again. Never liked Nouvo and I stand by my conviction after last night. The guys in there are icky guys. They have hands like grabby-feely octopuses that are just dumb enough that they just might win the Darwin awards one day. I elbowed this guy who tried to pull me back against him and then he tried to push his hand somewhere indecent. I kicked him then.

- side note -
The console is still manned by that horrible radio deejay who plays weird songs and compound that fact by speaking on and off during each song. Your comments about certain songs, people and offers are not welcome. Shut the farden up and just press the Play button, will ya?!
- end -
Among all these alligators, I stumbled upon a young pup who tried to dance with me earlier. He had some pretty good moves - some, and he was polite. I allowed him to come in closer and I ended up dancing with him the rest of the night. But the pup obviously had other things on his mind, things that I want no part in. Declined everything he offered, from the mild offer of a drink to one that is more blatant of meeting up tonight. Bah.

I was a very different Sharon yesterday night. I wore what I want. I went out feeling angry and Devil-may-care - I actually feel empowered in a way because of my crackling anger at something. I couldn't care less about the looks that I got or even what some might think of me when I danced alone or with a stranger.

I didn't go out looking for someone. I went out looking for myself. I still haven't found me. I'm afraid that I may never find me...

...portends...

I had that horrible dream again and it played out exactly like the first time I had it a few months back. I can't help but wonder when you have reoccurring dreams, is it am omen of bad things to come or an omen of exactly what is to come? If that is the case then I'm in trouble. Or rather my life is just a candle waiting to be blown out.

It was/is a horrible feeling - the feeling of the bullet slamming into my gut, the black swirly pain and then I lurch awake. I had this dream last night and I'm still shaken today. It was exactlythe same.

Maybe I'm dreaming of this coz it is an innate fear that is driving my emotions to the brink like this. I won't call it phobia but rather it is like the fear of being discovered. Like I'm the rabbit hiding in a hole, and the farmer with the big shotgun is stomping around outside trying to pull me out.

It's stupid to fear something that I should not fear. But it is there. I wish I know how to banish this fear but I don't. It is something that will always be at the back of my mind, ticking, waiting just for the right moment.

REAL Boutique called!

OMIGAAAWWWDD! Real Boutique just called me to go in for a photo shoot! I've been real (=P) busy since morning, running around doing stuff, so I missed the call. Later, I checked my phone and usually when the number is unknown, I don't bother calling back when there are no messages. But something made me curious enough; so I picked up the phone and called back.

"Good morning. Somebody just called me from this numb-"

"You're Sharon, right?"

"Yes."

"Please hold."

*Beeeeep beep*

"Hello."

"Hi. I got a call from this numb-"

"Hi, Sharon Teo, right?"

"Err... yes."

"Good morning. This is Kelly from Real Boutique. We were wondering if you would model for us..."

The moment I heard that, my heart went KATHUMP-THUMP-THUMP! I could hardly contain my glee, and I was at my desk trying so hard not to blind my colleagues with the grin that was stretching my mouth impossibly horizontally wide. They want me to be one of their models for their new catalogue photo shoot that is scheduled sometime soon. I would have to take a whole day off though but I don't mind. They won't be paying me cash, instead I get a RM200 voucher to shop at their boutique. I don't mind coz it's the whole amazingly surreal experience that I'm looking forward to. It is just so mind-boggling that they want ME! They said that they usually choose different races for all of their models, meaning I'll be modeling next to gorgeous Indians and Caucasians. I jokingly and self-consciously asked if she got the right girl, and Kelly said that she knew who I was as she saw me that day and that was why she asked her colleague to get my number. And she described me perfectly, down to my dress size. Omigawd, they want me... aiks... I feel nauseas now...

I know I shouldn't be blogging about it now but I just can't help myself. ^__^

I've mellowed with age! Aiks!

Went to the Reinforce 03 Rave last night at the Bukit Kiara Equestrian club. Started out horrible coz it was drizzling and the crowd was trickling in. We got there at 10pm and there was hardly a mentionable crowd of ravers. Then it started drizzling. So we sat on the bleachers and people-watch. It was interesting to see what Malaysian Ravers wear and they are by far the sexiest I've seen. Aussie ravers aren't even that daring compared to our Malaysian counterparts. Geeze, those girls were like teeny-boppers in bikini tops and interesting tattoos tastefully carved into their skin. I wanna get one too! =p I have always wanted to get one - should have done it in Perth where it is cheaper. Bah. I regretted wearing what I wore. I should have just gone with my instincts and worn my whalebone bustier - at least I would've fitted in - and my boots. As it was, I must have looked like an old fuddy duddy compared to that hip crowd of people.

The party didn't start until nearly midnight. We got a couple of beers and smoke, (I guzzled my beer to get the 'feeling') and got high slightly enough to boost our courage enough to go out to the platform and dance which was like one quarter full. Poeple waiting for other people to open the floor. Oh well, we were there to have fun, and we did. Haha, I felt old standing along side those pretty girls. But after awhile, I managed to get my groove together, forget the outside world and just enjoyed myself.

I tried to learn the Melbourne shuffle but I was wearing heels. I know, I know. Why wear heels to a rave? Well, I knew that I shouldn't but I was banking on the fact that there'll be a platform there and there were. I just didn't expect that we'd be dancing on grass as well. Damn, there were so many times I wished that I was wearing my boots as I usually do, but this time, I think being old made me crossed my own frekin' wires. Thank goodness I an used to dancing in heels, but I had to stay on the platform and not do the Melbourne shuffle.

I was surprised to see that a lot of people knew the Melbourne Shuffle. What an evolutionary move. Aqmal tried to teach me how to Melb shuffle, but with heels it was impossible if I didn't want to snap my straps. I managed to do some simple moves but I gave up after I felt my strap stretched a little. It was slightly different that the one my friend tried to teach me back in Australia but the basic move was the same. Anyway, so I stuck to my usual brand of dancing. After a while, we managed to move right upfront, and we stayed there the entire night. Aqmal wanted to go on the podium and although part of me wanted to, the other part was shy and hesitant. I feel as though I'm too old to do stuff like that anymore. I've mellowed with age I think and silly as it sounds, I felt inferior to all those gorgeous girls there. I can't help but compare my fat, ugly self to them.

There were a lot of gorgeous girls but hardly any gorgeous straight guys; I think a lot of the guys there last night drives on the other side of the road, and what a fantastic car they drive too. =p I can't help but ogle when there are sexy, bare-chested dudes gyrating on the podiums. But I think he was gay since he was hugging another gorgeous bare-chested specimen.

The rave was good, but it could have been better. For one, the music should have been louder or at least the platform should have been closer to the speakers as that is the most fun thing about raving - feeling the sound vibrate your entire body - it's all about the buzz, baby. When I'm dancing, with beats in my ears and heart, I get high, I'm on a rush and I feel sexy. I don't care about the outside world and I'll dance until my feet drop off. But I must say I enjoyed myself. I was dancing and I forgot all my troubles - there was nothing but the beats moving through my body.

The rave ended earlier that I thought it would. There is still a curfew of 3am imposed even on raves, unlike Australian raves that lasts until morning. Aqmal got a tip that the cops were gonna raid the place at 3am, and the event people knew that, so they broke up the party 15mins before. I've not been to that many raves to know all the ins and outs and I learned a few more things about Malaysian raves.

I wish I had gone on the podium. What a rush it would have been... *sigh* Maybe being back in Malaysia and plus one in my age has mellowed me somewhat. Aiyaiyaiyaiyai...

Egg yolk is good for the soul...

Vijay took me out to dinner to celebrate my birthday and he gave me two choices. Restaurant X or Minangkabau food. I chose to be adventurous so I chose the latter choice. He took me to Natrabu, a Minangkabau restaurant on the side of Sentral Station's car park. On sight, it looks like any other mamak-like place, but if you lean in closer, you'd see horns on the waiters and waitresses - they were dressed in the traditional Minangkabau garb - I found the uniforms nice and quite authentic looking too.

The place wasn't empty nor was it full. There were only five other parties there and we were the sixth. *WHOooooo* Haha, kidding. We were seated and presented with our menus. The first thing that went through my head was "Interesting..." The food had weird names but thank god there were descriptions beneath each bolded sentence. We got lost in translation =p so we asked the waiter to recommend the good dishes. He recommended we accepted.

The food came and I reached over to take the first strip of brinjal/eggplant smothered in red santan-like sauce. I tasted it and my taste buds exploded in enjoyment. It was GOOD. Then there were the roast chicken with special santan (santan - coconut milk) sauce, the prawns smothered in santan sauce and 'petai', and of course the leaves in santan milk. I forget what the leaves thingies are. BUT the food was superb. I would definitely recommend that you guys go try the food at Natrabu. But be warned, don't try to be smart like me and order the "Kopi susu telor". I was feeling adventurous and all, so I accepted Vijay's offered suggestion that I try that. The taste was interesting and I can tell you that my taste buds did not explode in ecstasy. It was egg-y. Apparently they mixed raw egg yolks in with the coffee and milk. I spent half and hour after dinner trying not to throw up! Must have been the Nescafe coffee... ;)

All in all, I had a good time. Estella and Jaymee were supposed to join us at Souled Out for line dancing, but it was kinda late so they took a rain check, and there were NO line dancing anymore. =( So Vij and I just stayed awhile for a drink and a chat, then 'cabut' when it got a little later.

Thanks Vij, for the fantastic birthday dinner!

I turn 26 today

Yeah, tis the old diatribe again - I'm older. I can't believe I'm 26 and I'm where I am now. People tell me I'm impatient... well... YEAH! Being impatient about my own life is not a flaw, it's just how nature intended it; else it wouldn't have been termed human 'nature'. Bah.

Had a nice, quiet dinner with a some close friends on Friday night at La Bodega to celebrate my 26th. Food was great but the company was greater. I had fun that night opposed to me going to a nightclub dancing my cares away as I would have it were I still 25 years old. You can say that I've mellowed with age. As for maturity, not sure yet, as some people have pointed out that I still am pretty 'childish' in some sense and I'm not telling what.

Thank you for sharing my 26th with me Zona, Lydia, Estella and Aqmal. You guys are great and I really enjoyed Friday night. Thank you for a great night. (((((((HUGS)))))))

I let my training wheel show

My gawd, it is times like this that I wish I smoke. Yesterday, I showed the third wheel on my tricycle. I wish I hadn't lost my cool and sent that email. You see it is like this: My boss asked me to sent a second news release to this person, highlighting the fact that it is the same release but with a slightly different twist, sorta like announcing the end of something. Anyway, I sent it and then I got a reply from this person asking me if I'm "aware that the articles on X topic came out in the newspapers last week" and "please get a copy" from a certain party. I just saw red. So I sent back a reply featuring a 'grateful tone' with an ungrateful bite by pointing my wheel at a certain party though there was no name mentioned, for the reason for sending the news release. In short, I pointed my finger at someone else. When I came here, I noticed that this is a practice that is quite prevalent and I can't believe I did it myself. I feel horrible after I pressed the Send button. My boss came over to tell me that is not how I should have done it and I know that. I wished I hadn't let my temper rule my actions. There is no way I can come back from this. The only thing I can do is to grow up faster by learning more. I can't believe I showed my boss how childish I was yesterday. *sigh*