Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Re-examination

Like I said before and I'll say it again. Sick people have too much time to think. I am sick and I am miserable and I am questioning every single thing, down to how long does it take a tissue paper to dissolve in water...

After blogging for so long and so much, I find myself back tracking and wondering if blogging about myself and my world isn't the smartese thing to do. People know more about me than I do myself and that's just freaky. I'm coughing non stop and I can't sleep so I read some of my past posts and lord o'lordy, I revealed more than I should back there. It's like a window to my soul and some of the entries were so raw that I can't believe I let strangers into my turbulent time capsule, that's what each of the post are, time capsules that captures exactly how I'm feeling in that time and space.

Maybe I should stop blogging for a while and see how that holds up? I admit I am addicted to blogging. Now I'll just have to find a way not to share my intimate thoughts with the rest of the world. Maybe I'll start a non-online journal again, a real diary with ink and all. The romance of writing isn't dead in me. The physical act of writing with a fountain pen on onion-thin paper still appeals greatly to me. I'm just a romantic at heart. I still prefer letters to emails.

*sigh*

Friday, February 11, 2005

I resigned. Or at least I tried...

I resigned on Thursday ( I know! Can you believe it?!) but my boss rejected my resignation. Made me tell her what was wrong so I did in the end, and she says that the company is actually trying to implement a lot of new stuff that will improve all work environments. Yeah right... so why don't I believe her? It's actually quite east not to believe her and I've been lied to and misled before by her. In the end, she said, "Try not to think about resigning during your holiday"... Sure... I'm like doing nothing but! -sigh-

Even though the last Friday meeting went well, it is not an indication of better things to come. I just think that it's all the calm before the storm, before shit hits the fan and starts to fly in everyone's faces. This company has it's priorities screwed backwards and to screw it on right will take a lot of effort and displacements of big egos methinks.

I'm faltering until I get another job, as that is the sensible thing to do. I hate being sensible all the time - just wish I could do something that would shock everyone. Resigning was part of it and it did shocked all my superiors whom I told but it's not enough. I have a rebel in me that is just dying to be unpredictable and therefore "unsafe". *shrug*

I know that she can't reject my resignation but I'm willing to wait and see what happens and if I can't stand it I'll resign again on the 28th and give in my notice.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Happy Chinese New Rooster Year!

Hope you peeps are having a better time than I am this CNY... sigh... I'm sick. Terrible time I be sick I know. Have a bad sore throat but that didn't stop me drinking wine the past two nights and wotta win- I mean fine time we had. *grin*

The Reunion Dinner is all about family and good food and wine. My uncle as usual broke open a few x2 bottles of fine wine and shared it generously with all. Lee Ling also brought back a few bottles. I loved the spanish one... can't remember the label name already... Meerlust or something like that. Anyway, my favourite of all is Solaia - one of the best wine I've had to privilege to taste and fall in love with. I kid you not, Solaia 2001 is a great wine. It was saliva-inducing in every sip. *sigh* That's what I like about the CNY tradition with my family, it's always about family and wine. Hee hee.

So here I am today, on the second day of the CNY celebration all sick and gross. I wake in the middle of the night coughing like a discrepit old man and the only thing missing from that picture is that I can't/will not spit no matter how clogged I am. It's just too disgusting to cough up something and feel it all slimey and warm on your tongue. EEEWWWWW! Just the thought is enough to choke me and sharing it on here can't be all that peachy for you either. Opps... hee hee... But the one thing I find peculiar is that my bladder seem to have shrunk. I forget already how many times I've been to the toilet today alone. Last night was a blur between coughing and peeing. Yeah, I'm not shy in sharing my miserable state with the world, btw.

Hey, I only get to enjoy such good food and wine when I get to enjoy such good food and wine only. So I try to savour it and to hell with minute details like being sick. Yeah I say that now, I know.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Happy 26th Birthday Zona!

Happy 26th Birthday, Zon! I hope that your 26th year will be filled with great happiness and enriching experiences that will carry you forth 'till your 100th year!

*HUGS*

Sunday, February 06, 2005

continued after KUL - KB flight

There is no wi-fi in the departure lounge! How can?!!! How can they not have internet where people have to wait the most time? Where people are bored to tears? Here where countless people stare ahead like mindless drones?

I was so counting on having wi-fi here. I just hope my flight is not delayed. If it is, I'm just gonna go back to McD and surf. Weird methinks. "We have wi-fi in the entire building" Tsk tsk... Liar. Or rather she didn't know what she was talking about. Now, that would most certianly disqualify her for the post of Information Officer at KLIA.

*sigh* Yes, one would say that I am indeed addicted to the internet, but then there is nothing else to do here as I didn't bring any books to pass the time with. Thought my babe was enough. Well, it is enough actually. I'm always occupied with my babe around. Aren't you a darling... *coo to the white babe in front of me who is responding splendidly to my touch...* =p

It is times like this that I'm reminded to start my journal again and not an online one.

Anyway, later peeps.

Wi-Fi at KLIA

I never knew that we could surf the internet at the airport. Seriously. I'm at McD now and I'm surfing! How cool is that? Apparently the entire airport is Wi-Fied. *grin* Darn, should have gotten here sooner so that I can surf to my heart's content. How I know? Coz I was looking for Starbucks ( I heard there was one here) and was told we can only enjoy Starbucks in the INTERNATIONAL Terminal. How snobbish... *eesh* BUT "you can surf anywhere in the airport". How about that? Yeah, yeah, I'm retarded coz I didn't know before. But then I reckon a lot of people don't know either coz I don't see anyone else on their conputer or anything. Malaysian Airports has been remissed in informing its customers of this new development.

Yeap, I'm going home to Kota Bharu for the CNY hols. Strangely enough, not many people are heading back to their hometowns this year coz I'm at the airport and it's not packed, it's not swamped like it used to be when all major festivals garners huge crowds at exit points. Hmm... maybe it's because the Rooster year has been forecasted as a bad financial year and people are saving their money for bad times ahead. So, what is my sister and I doing here then? Hmm... food for thought. Do the rest of the world know something we don't? On the other hand, I see a lot of long queues at the Air Macau ticketing counters - people with the same travel-agency-standard-issued-crappy-complimentary carry-on queing up by the dozens with their tour leaders shouting what they should do and all that. Besides, I recognise one of the bags, it is the same as the one we got when we traveled to China in 2003. Maybe those people are exempted and have something to crow about. Another aimless thought there...

Anyway, I know I'm supposed to have updated a lot sooner than this and I will, soon, in the next entry. So see you peeps in Kota Bharu. Blech...

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Tsk tsk...

In reply to Juan's allegation that I gave him an ultimatum to update his blog... do you know what Seadevilyn says to that? "Ptttuubbbhh!" In case you didn't understand that, that was a raspberry. ~_^

By the way, Lee Juan, the nick's Seadevilyn, not Seadevil. It's a little gender specific mah. I ain't no dark lord of the ocean, 'kay? Just it's mistress! *GRIN* Cool guy that basket case. If you've seen him personally, he's very different compared to his online personality - still waters run deeeeep. But then, that could be said for the rest of us as well. We reveal more of our inner selves online than we do in real life. My reason is that I'm shy, but being online helps me break down this handicap. Don't know other lame reason to cover for the rest of you. =P

*ducks for cover as millions of keyboard caps come flying at seadevilyn's head*

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

The torture starts again...

Anyway, I went for an interview yesterday for the post of an Events Executive at another company. I'm not going to bore you with the endless process and questions I went through (it went well, the guy told me so and that I was in the top 10 for the position) but I came out feeling doubtful about the whole thing. *sheesh* For one, the guy and the girl who interviewed me were way younger than I was, the company's only four months old and there's only two of them so far in the company and somehow they've managed to secure four deals that needs to be completed in two months time. I can't help feeling sceptical about it. Both looked rich actually. Then I find out that the guy knows Z, was her junior at KDU. The office just reminded me too much of my time at the quack house and it was SCARY. I came out knowing I will not take the job. Should I follow my instincts or my head? Haiyo, I'm talking as though they've already offered me the job. Hah. We will see.

Strangely enough, it does feel like a failure and I'm actually toying with the idea of staying but then I just saw a certain email address in my company inbox and my hackles rose. Guess I'm still feeling violent about that issue then... Wrote an equally insulting email back and Cced it to her boss and my boss. Let's see what happens tomorrow.