I AM SO RELIEVED. I came back to KB expecting to do the worst to Patches. For the past entire week, my world has been in a turmoil when my mom suggested putting down Patches - he was not in a good shape and his fits are back. But after assessing him, I don't think I need to do the extreme. He is still alert. He is just old. He's 15 years old last month - that's 105 years in dog years. Thank you God because I don't need to put down Patches.
For one whole week, I agonised over my conscience and my heart in trying to make the best decision for him; one that wasn't tinge with selfishness on my part. I called doctors, aunties and neighbours to find out more about the current methods of putting down an animal. I didn't want the process to be painful for him. The last time two of my dogs were put down, the doctors used a very long and thick needle to stab their hearts in order to inject the poison. It was painful for them. Their pain was visible and in their eyes, accusation.
I didn't want that for Patches. Yes, I favour Patches. He is MY dog. Not my dad's. Not my sisters'. But mine. I took care of him the moment he came into my life and I've gone through my teenage years with him.
Patches was born sick. When he was about 8 months old, he started having fits. At that time, there weren't a proper vet in KB and no one knew what was wrong with him. He's epileptic. His seizures were taxing and painful for him. After every seizure, he'd shake and shiver and go into mild shock. I'd usually give him warm sweetened milk to help him recover. Those seizures sort of tapered off when he was about 6 years old, and he only had them sporadically. Now, according to my mom, he's having them again.
I haven't seen any indication of a seizure so far, thank God. But I've given him warm milk to help him sleep better tonight. I know Patches loves me. Now, even though he can't see properly, he can still recognise me by smell. Every time I come home, he's more playful, more energised, more alert... Just more. And I love him to bits. Can dog love? Yes they can.
Just the thought of putting down Patches broke my heart so many times. I cried almost everyday, every time that horrible thought entered my mind. I tried to control my tears but to no avail. It's just too horrible a thought to remain impassive. So much so, that my colleagues noticed. *sigh*
I'm so glad that I don't need to do the horrible deed, or rather make the decision to do so. I told myself two days ago that I would come home and assess him before I make any decision. I couldn't even make an appointment with the vet in KB. I just couldn't. Not to Patches. It is not his time, yet.
Patches is 105 years old and he's still as adorable as the first day I got him.
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