Is there such a thing as being too loyal to your first real job? That's the question that a friend put to me when he asked why I was not moving on if I was so unsettled at my present company. I couldn't answer him. Yes I am unhappy here, but I'm still staying herre. I admit that, but I don't think it is out of loyalty but rather scared of the unknown and rather losing my 'familiar' zone too. An I am greatly to some extend that they hired me and 'promoted' (read trusted) me to more roles. But then on the other hand I feel as though they are cheating me by with loads of peon work and grunt pay. Isn't it rather perverse? Loving your torturer. There's a name for this syndrome, I forget.
He was saying that I was still young and that hoping was expected of me if I want to raise the level of my pay. I don't feel young. Not anymore. Anyone approaching 30 should have been settled long ago. I don't know if I have a future in this company. I can't help but wonder if they'll just keep piling more work on me but keeping me in the same tax bracket. I want to be taxed more darnit. How long do I stay, I can only determine, when I crack, eventually. One good thing I've learned is that when you think you've reached your limit, you can still go further when there is desperation snapping at your heels...
I should go home now.
No comments:
Post a Comment