It's the new year of 2005 and I'm besieged by indecisions again about my job. I despair. I've been brooding about this for so long. Anyone can see that I'm very unhappy.
I know it's normal thought not good to dread going back to work but I did feel that last night. And I couldn't sleep. And when I did sleep, my slumber was disturb by horrible dreams that ended with a nightmare. I dreamt that i came up with a new solution to promote our show and it was so simple and wildly affective. Then the next thing I knew, I dreamt I woke up and there was a weird relationship between Patches and an alien artifact. In the end, someone tried to kidnap Patches with mind control but I managed to pull him back. But then some preacher type person came and cursed patches and said he would die by 9pm tonight. Then Patches started thrashing. I was so enraged that I whiped out a machete from somewhere and slashed the person to a pulp, all the while his sinister laugh continued long after he was dead. I started awake when the man started becoming a mush. My heart was pounding so fast and strong that I could hear it in my ears. I was afraid to move for a few seconds thinking that I was in danger, thinking that I might still be dreaming.
I woke up feeling that I know that this is not the job for me, that I was unhappy, that I was wasting my time learning a craft that I have no interest in, that I was gonna resigned today, that I knew I could be happy elsewhere like working at Club Med or going overseas to work in an animal santuary. As long as I didn't have to work under the Queen Bee and her unroyal subjects.
"Not everyone is lucky enough to like their job. So stop being a sissy!" I tell myself. But how long do I flog this dead horse? Or is the horse really dead for that matter? Or maybe the horse hasn't really live yet to be dead so soon.
God help me please...
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