A fish out of water

It's my time alone at Starbucks and I sit here, alone, trying to sort out my thoughts in order to blog about my past one month. I know not where to start as the thoughts and feelings I had since then are no longer prevalent. My mood can be described as introverted at best. Its the usual thing for me to be introverted after an event.

After an event, the next 24 hours will find me quiet and reserve and generally introverted. It's like I've used up all my "friendliness and bubbliness" quota at the event and the next 24 hours are my recharging time. It's weird I know, but it does drain me, to be so bubbly for a length of time as that is not my true nature. What is my true nature then? I wish I know...

Am I making sense? This introspection also brings to mind my eternal question of "Am I in the right line of work then?" I don't know either. Should a PR person not be a fount of bubbliness and friendliness? I guess my fountain dried up for some reason. I used to be able to be happy and bubbly, but these days I find it all so superficial. It's like a facade, a patina of hapiness, when in truth, I feel far from happy.

I've been slightly depressed the last few weeks. Maybe that's part of the reason I've not blog much. Main reason is of course I just dont' have the time. I was supposed to go to the island this long weekend. I wanted to go diving with TJJ but there wasn't anymore space - booked out - so I thought I could settle for a non-diving trip. But after an internal struggle, I knew I would not enjoy my trip if I were to be subjected to the sight of seeing my diving friends geared up in their dive equipment and trunddling to the boat while I look on from the beach. not being able to join them. Like I told Tom, I'm stuck in a dessert, and you put a glass of water in front of me and then tell me I can't drink it. *sigh* So I decided not to go despite the fact that I seem to be drowning in the desert now.



Like a fish out of water, I'm gasping on the sands.

On the other hand, a waterless fish has to look for some way of being entertained right? Haha... so this long weekend was just one clubbing spot after the next. So while I'm gasping on the sands, I'm also dancing in my blue suede shoes.

I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.

~ Martha Washington ~