To blog or not to blog

This is a question a blogger usually ask herself or himself before committing their thoughts down in cyberspace. A simple basic question that sometimes operates at the back of our minds. Some might say that a lot of bloggers do not do this self-editing and willyninnily put their soulful, chaotic, antsy, narcissistic views in their private personal online space, their blog. But then isn’t the term "private personal online space" an oxymoron? This of course begs the question: Is the World Wide Web private? For me, the answer would have to be: No. Nothing committed online is private, for there will be always someone out there, other than your circle of influence, who will have permissible or otherwise, access to your cyber musings. A blog is not a personal possession like a real 100-page diary. A web log is, by all definitions, a public space.

I read a column in the papers today about the perils of blogging, or revealing yourself too much to strangers. This is true as much information about a person can be gleaned from a blog. For example: what car you drive, your daily activities, your hobbies, your circle of influence, what kind of products you use, what banks you partronise, which coffee you hang out to surf and so much more. All these information can be used to detail a person's life and with enough information, identity theft can occur.

Back in Uni, I wrote a thesis on the false security of the Internet. I can't believe I forgot about the perils of putting too much information about ourselves online. I look back at the early stages of my blog and thought to myself, "Holy fraking shit, woman."

Well, that's just one thing. The other issue is of course, self-governance of your personal space. I believe that we should all be mindful of what we write online. Not because of national unity and the threat from the government, but because of self-preservation. We are held responsible for what we say and do in our real life and it's no difference with our online-self. What's more, committing your thoughts online is an even bigger threat than saying something verbally in real life, unless of course what you say happened to be taped then that's permissible evidence that can condemn you.

But to bring it closer to home, a blog can define who you are, to others. To your circle of influence, you are just little ol' lovable you. To others who read with detachment, you're nothing but a spoiled 30-year-old brat with the emotional governance of a monkey. Who knows what strangers are thinking? Should we care what others think of us? I believe we should, because we write now with a passion and we fear nothing. But later in life, with a paperless but evidential trail spanning the globe thrice over, we can be measured, weighted and we might be found wanting.

This is the part of the reason I've reduced my blogging time. I'm more mindful of what I blog these days. Of course the other big reason is that I no longer feel the need to let strangers know when and how I burnt my barley water.

Thank you for your prayers

My mom went for her 1st check up after her surgery today and according to the doctor, she's doing well. She's even walking better now and without the aid of a walking stick. But it will take another 6 months for the damaged veins to heal and grow back. Her veins were inevitably damaged when the surgeons had to scrape the tumour off them (her tumour had grown/wrapped itself around some of her veins), and since veins are tiny, some were cut and damaged. But according to the doctor, the veins should grow back in 6 months time and she'll regain the feeling in her foot.

The doctor also got the test results back on the tumour and it's benign. So thank you all for your support and your prayers.

A tableau of an accident and hospitals

Was involved in a car accident yesterday morning on my way to work. Actually, I was already just outside my place of work when it happened. A motorcyclist was winding his way in between cars and in that split second, he somehow navigated wrongly or misjudged his speed and knocked into the back of my car and went flying off his bike. I was horrified that of all cars there, he had to knock into mine.

I called the ambulance as he was bleeding from scrapes on the face and he couldn't get up. I even gathered his belongings and documents and followed the ambulance to the hospital and passed his belogings to the nurse. The guy broke his hand, leg and some ribs. After that, I went to the police station to make a report. It was a horrid experience.

Yesterday was a horrible day. Damn suay I tell you. I've never been in an accident where I was the "targetted" driver. I've never even stepped into a police station before for matters like these. I'm usually accompanying someone there to do their reports like snatched bags, break-ins, lost Identity cards and all that shit. I guess there is a first time for everything. I think this experience is somewhat hardening me to the plight, self-inflicted or not, of others.

*sigh* I'll blog more about it later. I'm tired.

I'm going to the hospital now to see my mom. She was in surgery yesterday to remove her tumour and she's in ICU now.

What a horrible day.