Like I said before and I'll say it again. Sick people have too much time to think. I am sick and I am miserable and I am questioning every single thing, down to how long does it take a tissue paper to dissolve in water...
After blogging for so long and so much, I find myself back tracking and wondering if blogging about myself and my world isn't the smartese thing to do. People know more about me than I do myself and that's just freaky. I'm coughing non stop and I can't sleep so I read some of my past posts and lord o'lordy, I revealed more than I should back there. It's like a window to my soul and some of the entries were so raw that I can't believe I let strangers into my turbulent time capsule, that's what each of the post are, time capsules that captures exactly how I'm feeling in that time and space.
Maybe I should stop blogging for a while and see how that holds up? I admit I am addicted to blogging. Now I'll just have to find a way not to share my intimate thoughts with the rest of the world. Maybe I'll start a non-online journal again, a real diary with ink and all. The romance of writing isn't dead in me. The physical act of writing with a fountain pen on onion-thin paper still appeals greatly to me. I'm just a romantic at heart. I still prefer letters to emails.
*sigh*
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Friday, February 11, 2005
I resigned. Or at least I tried...
I resigned on Thursday ( I know! Can you believe it?!) but my boss rejected my resignation. Made me tell her what was wrong so I did in the end, and she says that the company is actually trying to implement a lot of new stuff that will improve all work environments. Yeah right... so why don't I believe her? It's actually quite east not to believe her and I've been lied to and misled before by her. In the end, she said, "Try not to think about resigning during your holiday"... Sure... I'm like doing nothing but! -sigh-
Even though the last Friday meeting went well, it is not an indication of better things to come. I just think that it's all the calm before the storm, before shit hits the fan and starts to fly in everyone's faces. This company has it's priorities screwed backwards and to screw it on right will take a lot of effort and displacements of big egos methinks.
I'm faltering until I get another job, as that is the sensible thing to do. I hate being sensible all the time - just wish I could do something that would shock everyone. Resigning was part of it and it did shocked all my superiors whom I told but it's not enough. I have a rebel in me that is just dying to be unpredictable and therefore "unsafe". *shrug*
I know that she can't reject my resignation but I'm willing to wait and see what happens and if I can't stand it I'll resign again on the 28th and give in my notice.
Even though the last Friday meeting went well, it is not an indication of better things to come. I just think that it's all the calm before the storm, before shit hits the fan and starts to fly in everyone's faces. This company has it's priorities screwed backwards and to screw it on right will take a lot of effort and displacements of big egos methinks.
I'm faltering until I get another job, as that is the sensible thing to do. I hate being sensible all the time - just wish I could do something that would shock everyone. Resigning was part of it and it did shocked all my superiors whom I told but it's not enough. I have a rebel in me that is just dying to be unpredictable and therefore "unsafe". *shrug*
I know that she can't reject my resignation but I'm willing to wait and see what happens and if I can't stand it I'll resign again on the 28th and give in my notice.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Happy Chinese New Rooster Year!
Hope you peeps are having a better time than I am this CNY... sigh... I'm sick. Terrible time I be sick I know. Have a bad sore throat but that didn't stop me drinking wine the past two nights and wotta win- I mean fine time we had. *grin*
The Reunion Dinner is all about family and good food and wine. My uncle as usual broke open a few x2 bottles of fine wine and shared it generously with all. Lee Ling also brought back a few bottles. I loved the spanish one... can't remember the label name already... Meerlust or something like that. Anyway, my favourite of all is Solaia - one of the best wine I've had to privilege to taste and fall in love with. I kid you not, Solaia 2001 is a great wine. It was saliva-inducing in every sip. *sigh* That's what I like about the CNY tradition with my family, it's always about family and wine. Hee hee.
So here I am today, on the second day of the CNY celebration all sick and gross. I wake in the middle of the night coughing like a discrepit old man and the only thing missing from that picture is that I can't/will not spit no matter how clogged I am. It's just too disgusting to cough up something and feel it all slimey and warm on your tongue. EEEWWWWW! Just the thought is enough to choke me and sharing it on here can't be all that peachy for you either. Opps... hee hee... But the one thing I find peculiar is that my bladder seem to have shrunk. I forget already how many times I've been to the toilet today alone. Last night was a blur between coughing and peeing. Yeah, I'm not shy in sharing my miserable state with the world, btw.
Hey, I only get to enjoy such good food and wine when I get to enjoy such good food and wine only. So I try to savour it and to hell with minute details like being sick. Yeah I say that now, I know.
The Reunion Dinner is all about family and good food and wine. My uncle as usual broke open a few x2 bottles of fine wine and shared it generously with all. Lee Ling also brought back a few bottles. I loved the spanish one... can't remember the label name already... Meerlust or something like that. Anyway, my favourite of all is Solaia - one of the best wine I've had to privilege to taste and fall in love with. I kid you not, Solaia 2001 is a great wine. It was saliva-inducing in every sip. *sigh* That's what I like about the CNY tradition with my family, it's always about family and wine. Hee hee.
So here I am today, on the second day of the CNY celebration all sick and gross. I wake in the middle of the night coughing like a discrepit old man and the only thing missing from that picture is that I can't/will not spit no matter how clogged I am. It's just too disgusting to cough up something and feel it all slimey and warm on your tongue. EEEWWWWW! Just the thought is enough to choke me and sharing it on here can't be all that peachy for you either. Opps... hee hee... But the one thing I find peculiar is that my bladder seem to have shrunk. I forget already how many times I've been to the toilet today alone. Last night was a blur between coughing and peeing. Yeah, I'm not shy in sharing my miserable state with the world, btw.
Hey, I only get to enjoy such good food and wine when I get to enjoy such good food and wine only. So I try to savour it and to hell with minute details like being sick. Yeah I say that now, I know.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Happy 26th Birthday Zona!
Happy 26th Birthday, Zon! I hope that your 26th year will be filled with great happiness and enriching experiences that will carry you forth 'till your 100th year!
*HUGS*
*HUGS*
Sunday, February 06, 2005
continued after KUL - KB flight
There is no wi-fi in the departure lounge! How can?!!! How can they not have internet where people have to wait the most time? Where people are bored to tears? Here where countless people stare ahead like mindless drones?
I was so counting on having wi-fi here. I just hope my flight is not delayed. If it is, I'm just gonna go back to McD and surf. Weird methinks. "We have wi-fi in the entire building" Tsk tsk... Liar. Or rather she didn't know what she was talking about. Now, that would most certianly disqualify her for the post of Information Officer at KLIA.
*sigh* Yes, one would say that I am indeed addicted to the internet, but then there is nothing else to do here as I didn't bring any books to pass the time with. Thought my babe was enough. Well, it is enough actually. I'm always occupied with my babe around. Aren't you a darling... *coo to the white babe in front of me who is responding splendidly to my touch...* =p
It is times like this that I'm reminded to start my journal again and not an online one.
Anyway, later peeps.
I was so counting on having wi-fi here. I just hope my flight is not delayed. If it is, I'm just gonna go back to McD and surf. Weird methinks. "We have wi-fi in the entire building" Tsk tsk... Liar. Or rather she didn't know what she was talking about. Now, that would most certianly disqualify her for the post of Information Officer at KLIA.
*sigh* Yes, one would say that I am indeed addicted to the internet, but then there is nothing else to do here as I didn't bring any books to pass the time with. Thought my babe was enough. Well, it is enough actually. I'm always occupied with my babe around. Aren't you a darling... *coo to the white babe in front of me who is responding splendidly to my touch...* =p
It is times like this that I'm reminded to start my journal again and not an online one.
Anyway, later peeps.