I can't breathe. I can't seem to draw in precious air into me. I feel the urgency. I feel the pressure. It is pressing down on my chest, squeezing my lungs and constricting me. I know what I should do, yet I have no idea what I shoud be doing. I know not my destiny and the path before me is fading, one step at a time.
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
The last straw that will break this horse's back
It is 4.30pm in the afternoon and I've yet to catch a wink of sleep since yesterday. Finally decided to blog and maybe it might purge my mind enough to let me sleep. *sigh* This is going from bad to worse. My body is so tired that my fingertips are vibrating everytime a current of air sweeps my way, but my mind persists on staying awake and active. Even my skin is suffering. I feel as though everything is breaking down slowly, bit by bit and I'm helpless to put a muffler on my whirring brain. I am thinking too much. I no longer just read, I think. I really think I'm on the verge of falling into a clinical condition - insomnia. I think it is safe to say that my condition is fast becoming chronic if it isn't already because I have been loosing sleep for the past two weeks. I feel as though that my time is running out. I am still jobless. I've been considering shelving my writing and just settle for a sales job which I've been dreading since forever. *sigh* I'm so tired.
Also in my frenzied imaginings, I came up with a horrible thought. What if I become like my sister who sees *shudder* other worldly people? What if my not getting enough sleep will trigger my 'third eye'? I really, really do not want this to happen. Of course when I was thinking this, I was already all alone at home with everybody gone off to work. I managed to worked myself into such a scare that every creak or thump had my heart racing. In my weak-minded state I started imagining figures (old hunchback women with leathery skin) outside my window looking in, waving to me, calling me walking though the wall towards me. I see shadows in every corner, even under the bed and worse, in bed with me. I really scared myself silly a few hours ago, so much so that going to sleep was impossible.
I. Am. Going. Out. Of. My. Mind.
Also in my frenzied imaginings, I came up with a horrible thought. What if I become like my sister who sees *shudder* other worldly people? What if my not getting enough sleep will trigger my 'third eye'? I really, really do not want this to happen. Of course when I was thinking this, I was already all alone at home with everybody gone off to work. I managed to worked myself into such a scare that every creak or thump had my heart racing. In my weak-minded state I started imagining figures (old hunchback women with leathery skin) outside my window looking in, waving to me, calling me walking though the wall towards me. I see shadows in every corner, even under the bed and worse, in bed with me. I really scared myself silly a few hours ago, so much so that going to sleep was impossible.
I. Am. Going. Out. Of. My. Mind.
Halloween costume puzzle
What to wear, what to wear? I've been trying to decide what to wear to a halloween costume party for the past one week. So far I haven't found a solution that is applicable to my dilemma. Sigh. But I did find this site that gives great ideas. Do have a look if you have time. They've got a lot of funky ideas.
On the mend, I think
P.S.: I don't know what's wrong with Blogger. The post date should be 22 September 2002, Monday, 10:44pm.Yeah, I'm still all snuffly and phelgmy.
Yuck. I had to postpone my interview with InHouse Multimedia today to Thursday. Thank goodness the man was very understanding. Sigh.
Nah, have not done much at all these past one week. I even missed my weekend gym session and stayed in bed the whole weekend. I can tell that I'm not up to writing much lately - the tone of the sentences doesn't lie. Just feel whoozy.
Anyway, nite all.
Yuck. I had to postpone my interview with InHouse Multimedia today to Thursday. Thank goodness the man was very understanding. Sigh.
Nah, have not done much at all these past one week. I even missed my weekend gym session and stayed in bed the whole weekend. I can tell that I'm not up to writing much lately - the tone of the sentences doesn't lie. Just feel whoozy.
Anyway, nite all.
What do you do when you're sick?
Blog, of course. =p I feel terrible. *cough cough choke choke* I finally succumbed to the microaliens floating around my house on account of Lee Hoon's coughs and sneezes. She's been sick for the past two weeks and is still coughing up green yuckies every 10 minutes or so. Apparently it's a viral infection that has been laying lots of robust *ahem* people low. Well, I've joined the ranks of the Green Phlegm and frankly it's just a hornet's nest waiting to be jostled. So I would like to apologise in advance for my bitchiness or lack there of. *grin*
I know I don't seem very sickly in my thoughts *you know what I mean...* right now, but my physical self is just gross. Every second I have a frog in my throat and my gag reflex is working overtime trying to get that imaginary amphibian out. *gri-gak* Been drinking hot tea all day, and that is why I'm sooo froggy right now. Can't seem to sit still or go into a blank state anymore. =p My mind is like an Information Highway, I can't seem to keep my neurons in one state.
Anyway, have you ever wondered why we grow our hair? I mean did God tell Eve that hair is a vanity thing? Or did the Snake? Or did humans take immediately to their crown or glory? Or for that matter, did Eve even have hair on top of her head when God made her? If so was it long or short? Was Adam's hair long or short? I mean presumably hair is to keep our brains warm like those cute little knitted egg warmers, so would that mean Adam's hair was long? Would God have given Adam a haircut as depicted in most of the world's religious depictions? Why didn't they paint him with long hair? Maybe it would have made him less of a man in today's eyes since long hair is associated with words like feminine, soft, beauty, pride, desire, and of course the requirements of a shampoo ad girl. Would you show your children a picture of adam and eve with adam sporting shoulder length gleaming locks? I have no idea what I would do. But then the pharaohs weren't carved in stone with long hair. They had no hair; they shaved their heads to escape from the heat. So why did Samson have hair, and why was his power said to be in his long locks? Didn't he suffer from heat as well? How did he manage to even keep it clean and healthy if it was that long? And Medusa - an interesting bit of fiction there. I wonder if whoever wrote that story must have had a grudge against women and their mantle of vanity?
Hair is a luxury. It is a bother to keep it long and clean. Yet we have stayed on the beaten path of hair sociology. All that path lead to is vanity. Which brings me back to the question "Did the snake do it?" Or is the hearsay that the Bible is one of the greatest fictions ever created true?
I know I don't seem very sickly in my thoughts *you know what I mean...* right now, but my physical self is just gross. Every second I have a frog in my throat and my gag reflex is working overtime trying to get that imaginary amphibian out. *gri-gak* Been drinking hot tea all day, and that is why I'm sooo froggy right now. Can't seem to sit still or go into a blank state anymore. =p My mind is like an Information Highway, I can't seem to keep my neurons in one state.
Anyway, have you ever wondered why we grow our hair? I mean did God tell Eve that hair is a vanity thing? Or did the Snake? Or did humans take immediately to their crown or glory? Or for that matter, did Eve even have hair on top of her head when God made her? If so was it long or short? Was Adam's hair long or short? I mean presumably hair is to keep our brains warm like those cute little knitted egg warmers, so would that mean Adam's hair was long? Would God have given Adam a haircut as depicted in most of the world's religious depictions? Why didn't they paint him with long hair? Maybe it would have made him less of a man in today's eyes since long hair is associated with words like feminine, soft, beauty, pride, desire, and of course the requirements of a shampoo ad girl. Would you show your children a picture of adam and eve with adam sporting shoulder length gleaming locks? I have no idea what I would do. But then the pharaohs weren't carved in stone with long hair. They had no hair; they shaved their heads to escape from the heat. So why did Samson have hair, and why was his power said to be in his long locks? Didn't he suffer from heat as well? How did he manage to even keep it clean and healthy if it was that long? And Medusa - an interesting bit of fiction there. I wonder if whoever wrote that story must have had a grudge against women and their mantle of vanity?
Hair is a luxury. It is a bother to keep it long and clean. Yet we have stayed on the beaten path of hair sociology. All that path lead to is vanity. Which brings me back to the question "Did the snake do it?" Or is the hearsay that the Bible is one of the greatest fictions ever created true?